Husbands + Shopping = Suck

Last night I made the mistake of taking my husband shopping with me. When I asked if he wanted to come he said yes, which surprised me, but I was happy to have him tag along. I wanted to spend some time with him. I had to go three places.

First stop was the $1 store. The moment we entered the building he shot off in all directions, leaving me alone to get the things I needed. Every few minutes he would stop by with an inventory of the store, asking me questions about things I didn't need, making me feel rushed, until I just wanted to check out in order for him to stop. Yeah, I was so glad to bring him along.

Next was Target. I was buying underwear. While he didn't leave me this time he did stand beside me and act like a 13-year-old being forced to watch his parents have sex. He wouldn't hold the panties while I looked at something else, he had to go get a basket, because GOD FORBID he should touch clean, unused, perfectly harmless panties.

It was pretty clear if I wanted any input on anything I was shit out of luck. So off we went to Spencers. Luckily it was a small store. Unluckily I still managed to lose him because by the Goddess it was just too much to ask him to stay in one fucking place and actually talk to me. I had to wander the store for a few minutes after I checked out because I couldn't find him. By the time we got back to the car I just wanted to go home. So much for together time, next time I'm leaving his ass at home.

And people wonder why I don't have children.

See Me In a Bikini

Don't forget this Saturday is the Arch Rival Roller Girl car wash.

You know you want to check this out.

Getting clean has never so much fun!

And now, in the "DUH!" catagory...

This article, titled "Why marrying for money is not a bad idea."

Really? REALLY? We need some asshole to explain this to us? This should go under the "No shit, Sherlock" category as well. Is this what CNN is paying people for? If so, I have a whole list of articles they can buy from me:

Walking Over An Open Hole is Not a Good Idea
Fire Burns
Falling Off a Tall Building Could Kill You
Sex Could Lead to Pregnancy
Vacations Can Be Relaxing
Smart People Can Find Jobs
If You Don't Work, You Could Get Fired
George Bush Is An Asshole

And my favorite - Hey, Michael Jackson is Dead!

Idiots. I'm so in the wrong business.

Last Local Game before Championship!!!!

It’s hot! It’s hot! It’s hot out there! Must be roller derby in the atmosphere!

Join ARRG on Saturday, July 11th for a bout that is sure to heat up the All-American. The ladies of the Stunt Devils are geared up to take on the M-80s

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 7:00 p.m.
Bout at 8:00 p.m.

TICKETS JUST $10! Purchase TIX online now!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

ATTENTION members of the Military, Police, Firefighters & EMTs
receive $2 off at the door with your i.d. or badge

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
Then bring some canned goods to every bout. Every two canned goods you bring will earn you one ticket for our raffle where you can win t-shirts, gift certificates and jewelry. There is no limit to the number of cans you can bring! All donations will go to Operation Food Search and will be given to the needy citizens of our area.

After party to follow downtown at El Borracho located at 2001 Locust, 63103!

What are you doing this Saturday?

Roller Derby has its own special whip! Come out this weekend to get a first hand look!

Join ARRG on Saturday, June 27th where THE DOORS OPEN EARLY for this double header that is sure to rock the All-American. The ladies of NoCoast derby are coming to the STL to take on our Lunachix & All Stars.

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 6:30pm
Bout at 7:00pm

TICKETS JUST $10! Purchase TIX online now!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
Then bring some canned goods to every bout. Every two canned goods you bring will earn you one ticket for our raffle where you can win t-shirts, gift certificates and jewelry. There is no limit to the number of cans you can bring! All donations will go to Operation Food Search and will be given to the needy citizens of our area.

After party to follow downtown at the Firebird (2706 Olive)!

Don't forget to mark your calendars to come watch the M-80s (2-1) face off against the Stunt Devils (2-1) on July 11th in the last game before the Championship!

See you there!

John & Kate + Hate

So, I've never watched this crap show John andKate Plus Eight. I watched it last night because I wasn't ready to go to bed yet and there was really nothing else on. So the parents of these eight children, two girls and a set of sextuplets, are divorcing. Throughout the shots of their children happily playing in a set of new children's houses donated by a building company the parents talk to the camera about how they feel and what the future holds.

Throughout this whole ordeal they spoke of how much they loved their children. Uh-huh. Is that why you're divorcing, because you love your kids so much? Here's a question - why don't you stop the damn reality show and work on getting your family back together?

Oh, because then you wouldn't be in the spotlight, invited to all the major Hollywood parties and see your faces splashed all over the news. Oh, ok, I understand. How much can you really love your children if you are willing to expose them to the paparazzi and Hollywood executives? These kids aren't growing up in a home, they are growing up on a set. Yeah, but that's ok, because Hollywood has a record of child stars ending up productive citizens. Uh-huh.

I think the children should be taken away and given to a family that will give a shit. Then these "parents" need to be publicly caned. After they lie on a bleeding, raw back for a few days their perspective on what's important might change. She says they did this show so they could afford to raise a family. All I see is them getting free stuff. Kids don't need play houses in order to grow, they need guidance and love.

Kate, the harpy in this tale, looked miserable during the whole show. And because of her misery the kids were subdued. A set of 5-yar-old sextuplets subdued? Yeah, real healthy. And all I saw the asshole John do was ignore his children and mug for the camera. Hmmmm, maybe divorce is their best option.

I'm not fooled for one moment that these "parents" love their children. They love the attention these kids have brought them. If they loved their kids soooo much, the moment things went south they would have dumped the show and worked on being a family. Contratulations, assholes, I hope you'll have family therapy donated because the amount needed isn't going to be earned by any amount of reality shows.

Leaving On a Jet Plane

I'm off to Albuquerque tomorrow! I'm so excited. My derby girls, ARRG All Stars, are going up against the Ducke City Derby Girls. We're totally going to kick their asses.

I'm so excited about going to the West again. When I was a little girl we lived in Arizona and I loved it. I want to drive out into the desert and be one with nature. Just lay on the ground and listen to the earth and wind around me. I don't know why being on the edge of desolation is so spiritual for me. I always feel at peace when I am surrounded by nothing but nature.

I hear Santa Fe is close by and a lot of fun to go to, so I hope to hit that when I am there. I should have taken an extra day or two. Oh well, work is work.

Bye, people!

Dear Sarah Palin

Hi, honey. How are things in your small little world? I know your recent brush with reality must have been hard on you. Imagine, that nasty David Letterman using you to make a joke. What nerve! Just because you've opened yourself and your family up to media scrutiny doesn't mean he can just say whatever he wants. I know we have that pesky 1st amendment but it certainly doesn't apply to someone as pretty as you, right?

Just because you put your face all over the media after your failed attempt at politics doesn't mean he can make jokes about you. Just because every other person in the media gets the same attention doesn't mean you have to. You're to precious to be made fun of.

I mean, a contradictory hypocrite like you should get upset when someone takes your life and uses it for their own purposes. Just because you and the Republican party did the exact same thing when you were running for office doesn't give anyone else the right to do it. That was eons ago in the media world.

So just relax, pumpkin, and go back to that little fantasy world you live in where you can do anything you want to other people, but people should treat you with kid gloves. It must be a nice place, you've been living there for quite a while.