Yarg

Husbands + Shopping = Suck

2009-08-04T09:30:00.003-04:00

Last night I made the mistake of taking my husband shopping with me. When I asked if he wanted to come he said yes, which surprised me, but I was happy to have him tag along. I wanted to spend some time with him. I had to go three places.

First stop was the $1 store. The moment we entered the building he shot off in all directions, leaving me alone to get the things I needed. Every few minutes he would stop by with an inventory of the store, asking me questions about things I didn't need, making me feel rushed, until I just wanted to check out in order for him to stop. Yeah, I was so glad to bring him along.

Next was Target. I was buying underwear. While he didn't leave me this time he did stand beside me and act like a 13-year-old being forced to watch his parents have sex. He wouldn't hold the panties while I looked at something else, he had to go get a basket, because GOD FORBID he should touch clean, unused, perfectly harmless panties.

It was pretty clear if I wanted any input on anything I was shit out of luck. So off we went to Spencers. Luckily it was a small store. Unluckily I still managed to lose him because by the Goddess it was just too much to ask him to stay in one fucking place and actually talk to me. I had to wander the store for a few minutes after I checked out because I couldn't find him. By the time we got back to the car I just wanted to go home. So much for together time, next time I'm leaving his ass at home.

And people wonder why I don't have children.

See Me In a Bikini

2009-07-13T14:19:00.001-04:00

Don't forget this Saturday is the Arch Rival Roller Girl car wash.

You know you want to check this out.

Getting clean has never so much fun!

And now, in the "DUH!" catagory...

2009-07-07T09:30:00.003-04:00

This article, titled "Why marrying for money is not a bad idea."

Really? REALLY? We need some asshole to explain this to us? This should go under the "No shit, Sherlock" category as well. Is this what CNN is paying people for? If so, I have a whole list of articles they can buy from me:

Walking Over An Open Hole is Not a Good Idea
Fire Burns
Falling Off a Tall Building Could Kill You
Sex Could Lead to Pregnancy
Vacations Can Be Relaxing
Smart People Can Find Jobs
If You Don't Work, You Could Get Fired
George Bush Is An Asshole

And my favorite - Hey, Michael Jackson is Dead!

Idiots. I'm so in the wrong business.

Last Local Game before Championship!!!!

2009-07-01T12:26:00.000-04:00

It’s hot! It’s hot! It’s hot out there! Must be roller derby in the atmosphere!

Join ARRG on Saturday, July 11th for a bout that is sure to heat up the All-American. The ladies of the Stunt Devils are geared up to take on the M-80s

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 7:00 p.m.
Bout at 8:00 p.m.

TICKETS JUST $10! Purchase TIX online now!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

ATTENTION members of the Military, Police, Firefighters & EMTs
receive $2 off at the door with your i.d. or badge

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
Then bring some canned goods to every bout. Every two canned goods you bring will earn you one ticket for our raffle where you can win t-shirts, gift certificates and jewelry. There is no limit to the number of cans you can bring! All donations will go to Operation Food Search and will be given to the needy citizens of our area.

After party to follow downtown at El Borracho located at 2001 Locust, 63103!

What are you doing this Saturday?

2009-06-23T13:39:00.001-04:00

Roller Derby has its own special whip! Come out this weekend to get a first hand look!

Join ARRG on Saturday, June 27th where THE DOORS OPEN EARLY for this double header that is sure to rock the All-American. The ladies of NoCoast derby are coming to the STL to take on our Lunachix & All Stars.

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 6:30pm
Bout at 7:00pm

TICKETS JUST $10! Purchase TIX online now!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
Then bring some canned goods to every bout. Every two canned goods you bring will earn you one ticket for our raffle where you can win t-shirts, gift certificates and jewelry. There is no limit to the number of cans you can bring! All donations will go to Operation Food Search and will be given to the needy citizens of our area.

After party to follow downtown at the Firebird (2706 Olive)!

Don't forget to mark your calendars to come watch the M-80s (2-1) face off against the Stunt Devils (2-1) on July 11th in the last game before the Championship!

See you there!

John & Kate + Hate

2009-06-23T09:29:00.002-04:00

So, I've never watched this crap show John andKate Plus Eight. I watched it last night because I wasn't ready to go to bed yet and there was really nothing else on. So the parents of these eight children, two girls and a set of sextuplets, are divorcing. Throughout the shots of their children happily playing in a set of new children's houses donated by a building company the parents talk to the camera about how they feel and what the future holds.

Throughout this whole ordeal they spoke of how much they loved their children. Uh-huh. Is that why you're divorcing, because you love your kids so much? Here's a question - why don't you stop the damn reality show and work on getting your family back together?

Oh, because then you wouldn't be in the spotlight, invited to all the major Hollywood parties and see your faces splashed all over the news. Oh, ok, I understand. How much can you really love your children if you are willing to expose them to the paparazzi and Hollywood executives? These kids aren't growing up in a home, they are growing up on a set. Yeah, but that's ok, because Hollywood has a record of child stars ending up productive citizens. Uh-huh.

I think the children should be taken away and given to a family that will give a shit. Then these "parents" need to be publicly caned. After they lie on a bleeding, raw back for a few days their perspective on what's important might change. She says they did this show so they could afford to raise a family. All I see is them getting free stuff. Kids don't need play houses in order to grow, they need guidance and love.

Kate, the harpy in this tale, looked miserable during the whole show. And because of her misery the kids were subdued. A set of 5-yar-old sextuplets subdued? Yeah, real healthy. And all I saw the asshole John do was ignore his children and mug for the camera. Hmmmm, maybe divorce is their best option.

I'm not fooled for one moment that these "parents" love their children. They love the attention these kids have brought them. If they loved their kids soooo much, the moment things went south they would have dumped the show and worked on being a family. Contratulations, assholes, I hope you'll have family therapy donated because the amount needed isn't going to be earned by any amount of reality shows.

Leaving On a Jet Plane

2009-06-18T10:25:00.002-04:00

I'm off to Albuquerque tomorrow! I'm so excited. My derby girls, ARRG All Stars, are going up against the Ducke City Derby Girls. We're totally going to kick their asses.

I'm so excited about going to the West again. When I was a little girl we lived in Arizona and I loved it. I want to drive out into the desert and be one with nature. Just lay on the ground and listen to the earth and wind around me. I don't know why being on the edge of desolation is so spiritual for me. I always feel at peace when I am surrounded by nothing but nature.

I hear Santa Fe is close by and a lot of fun to go to, so I hope to hit that when I am there. I should have taken an extra day or two. Oh well, work is work.

Bye, people!

Dear Sarah Palin

2009-06-16T09:21:00.002-04:00

Hi, honey. How are things in your small little world? I know your recent brush with reality must have been hard on you. Imagine, that nasty David Letterman using you to make a joke. What nerve! Just because you've opened yourself and your family up to media scrutiny doesn't mean he can just say whatever he wants. I know we have that pesky 1st amendment but it certainly doesn't apply to someone as pretty as you, right?

Just because you put your face all over the media after your failed attempt at politics doesn't mean he can make jokes about you. Just because every other person in the media gets the same attention doesn't mean you have to. You're to precious to be made fun of.

I mean, a contradictory hypocrite like you should get upset when someone takes your life and uses it for their own purposes. Just because you and the Republican party did the exact same thing when you were running for office doesn't give anyone else the right to do it. That was eons ago in the media world.

So just relax, pumpkin, and go back to that little fantasy world you live in where you can do anything you want to other people, but people should treat you with kid gloves. It must be a nice place, you've been living there for quite a while.

Douchebaggery in Entertainment

2009-06-05T09:38:00.002-04:00

If you know me you know I'm a sucker for Reality TV (the term reality is used loosely). Now, with the addition of Hulu.com, I can get my fix of horrible reality shows at work when we are slow.

So I was sucked into watching the latest installment of Get Me Out of Here, I'm a Celebrity. Among the rabble of B-list celebrities are Spencer and Heidi from MTV's The Hills.

Now, if you've ever been unfortunate enough to see The Hills you know what kind of boring, stupid, and immature program it was. I had MTV on once when I was sorting laundry. All the kids did during this show was sit around and talk. In a restaurant, at work, at a spa, just talk, talk, talk, and about stupid things, too. I'm so surprised this piece of shit lasted for more than one season. I now sort my laundry to XM radio, that's how dull and boring this thing was.

So apparently Spencer and Heidi were two of the main "stars" of this refuse. Now they are married and on GMOoHIaC. I have never seen a bigger whiner-baby than Spencer. Not only is he immature, but stupid. He proves it every time he opens his mouth. In the first day he and Heidi quit the show because they were, his words, "too famous to put up with this shit." Uh-huh. If you were "too" famous, you wouldn't have been asked to be on the show in the first place, you second-rate stand-in. But oh, wait, they came back. Joy.

On the second day they quit again. And then they came back again, but not before the other campers devided their stuff among them. When whiner-baby and his bride came back Spencer threw a fit of mythical proportions. He threw things, stomped his feet, yelled, bitched, and insulted everyone on the island before stomping off in a hissy. At this point I fast-forwarded the show, you can only take so much before it just becomes painful.

On the third installment whiner-baby and his bride have to face a challenge where they are in a dark room collecting stars. The room is full of snakes, bugs, bats, rats, and all sorts of icky things. Spencer manages to grab 2 stars in 5 minutes because he is too preoccupied screaming like a little girl. Heidi managed to grab 1, but with less squealing. After this little stunt they quit. Again. This time for real because, again, they are "too" famous to have to deal with this shit. Oh, and it was the most horrible thing he has ever had to go through in his life. He'll probably need therapy.

The thing that makes this so amusing to me is the fact whiner-baby and his bride claim to be devout Christains. Yeah, they prayed to God to help them through this ordeal just a few moments before he threatened everyone in the camp. Yeah, he's one of those. He's a lifting one hand to God while slapping you in the face with the other kind of Christian. It just figures the foulest, ugliest, most ill-tempered bastard on the show claims to have God on his side. I wonder how embarassed God is when a person like that claims such a thing? I know I'd throw a few lightening bolts his way....oh, wait, that's Zues.

Anyway, I'm so glad they finally quit for good, it was hurting my eyes and ears. I wonder how fast whiner-baby's star will fall now that he doesn't have The Hills anymore? See, in order to be truely "too" famous you have to have talent. And a good attitude doesn't hurt, no one wants to work with a stupid diva.

I'm wondering if whiner-baby could even go grocery shopping without having to 1) ask for help, or 2) threaten a stock boy with death when there are no more Fruit Loops on the shelf. Thankfully we won't be seeing much of him anymore. Oh, wait, we will when he's arrested for drunk driving and gets into a fight with the cops.

I can hear it now - "Do you know who I am? I'm f**king Spencer, I'm too famous to be arrested. Get your hands off me, you cock-sucking a**hole! You can't touch me! I'm Spencer! I'll kill you and your whole family. Oh, by the way, God bless you!"

Douche. Bag.

Check It!

2009-06-04T16:39:00.000-04:00

Dorothy will be clicking her heels to get to this for sure!

Join ARRG on Saturday, June 13th for a bout around the yellow brick track. Watch as The Smashinistas take on the Stunt Devils for a bout that guarantees hard hits and fierce competition as the championship gets closer than the house on a wicked witch!

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 7:00pm
Bout at 8:00pm

TICKETS JUST $10! Purchase TIX online now!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
Then bring some canned goods to every bout. Every two canned goods you bring will earn you one ticket for our raffle where you can win t-shirts, gift certificates and jewelry. There is no limit to the number of cans you can bring! All donations will go to Operation Food Search and will be given to the needy citizens of our area.

After party to follow downtown at the Firebird (2706 Olive)!

See you there!

Back-peddling like a Mo-Fo

2009-06-02T09:37:00.002-04:00

Today I've read two article where Dick Cheney has completely changed his opinion of two major issues. One is gay marriage, and the other is Saddam Hussein's involvement in 9/11.

Why the turn-around, Dick?

Does he honestly believe that no one is going to remember all the shit he talked during his vice-presidency? How can one condemn gay marriage, and then say "freedom for everyone." Hmmmm? Or that pesky problem of invading Iraq under the "clear" evidence that Hussein was hiding weapons and helped equip the 9/11 terrorists. Ah, he seemed to be pretty damn supportive when Bush was in the White House. Oh, but now that's not his opinion.

Further proof this retard and all those who support him are full of shit.

That's a Pisser

2009-06-02T09:32:00.001-04:00

Maybe people should stop peeing outside.

How does it feel?

2009-06-02T09:24:00.002-04:00

I read this article today. Seems the Christians are being treated like they treat everyone else. They don't like being labeled! They don't like having their views censored! They don't like feeling oppressed! Who knew?

How does that medicine taste, assholes? I guess you thought repressing freedom was your exclusive right. Well, live and learn. I guess you don't own the world after all.

Church Goers Like Torture

2009-05-05T09:26:00.004-04:00

Read about it here.

C'mon, anyone who can sit through a service full of hymns has to like torture.

Who is surprised by this?

My favorite part of this article: "And, obviously, President Bush, whose administration started the practice of enhanced interrogation, courted religious conservatives in two elections as a significant faction of his base..."

Which segways nicely into this article about the Bush administration and it's "interrogations."

The New Dog House

2009-04-14T09:16:00.001-04:00

So I hear a bunch of shit about the new dog in the White House. One headline read "The Twists and Turns" of how the dog came to be. Here's a question - who gives a shit?

It's a dog. A lucky one, at that, but still a freaking dog. DOG. Paying attention to shit like this is what got this country in trouble in the first place. How is it important? The family could have gotten this dog from a murderous puppy-mill of the 10th degree, who freaking CARES! We have bigger issues, stop wasting our time on crap like this.

Do we really not have anything else to report on? Really?

I'm a Heel

2009-04-02T12:48:00.002-04:00

I let a friend's secret slip out last night. The people I told it to can be trusted, but I still feel like a big ol' ball of slime. She trusted me and I betrayed that trust. It's not a life-or-death secret, in fact to others it may not seem like such a big secret at all. But it was her's and I blew it.

I'm seeing her tonight. A confession like this should take place face-to-face. I know she's going to be mad and she has every right to be, I just hope she'll forgive me. I deserve whatever I get.

Today's mood: crappy.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

2009-04-01T09:24:00.002-04:00

Oh, those poor smokers! In this article they feel they are being picked on. Boo-fucking-hoo.

Listen, smoking doesn't recognize a financial class, m-kay? Poor or not, anyone who shoves cancer-sticks into the face has to pay. If you're poor, here's what you do. Quit!

You foul-smelling, yellow-toothed, gravel-voiced, leather-skinned, ignorant bitches can suck it. I'm damn sick and tired of having to smell your stench. I am sick and tired of having to stay away from certain events or places because I don't want to go home smelling like an ashtray, not to mention fighting off a headache and having a horrible taste in my mouth.

Smoking is offensive, and if you want to intrude upon the lives and rights of non-smokers without a thought, then pay-up and shut-up.

National Health Care

2009-03-31T16:26:00.003-04:00

Ok, I just had an idea. The #1 reason we can't get national health care in this country is the people who run it won't approve a plan. Now, why is that? I feel it's because those people have two advantages.

1. They don't need it. All the little piggies that work for the government (Senate, Congress, etc.) already have free health coverage.

2. The health care industry is lining their pockets with money in order to keep thigns the way they are.

I've come up with a simple solution. In order to get national health care established in this country we need to treat those people to the joys and wonders of the average person's health care experience. Take away their free coverage and force them to get health care like the rest of us.

I'm betting this country will have national health care in just under 3 months.

The first time one of those yahoo's walks into an emergency room and walks out $10,000 in debt they'll start looking real close at the way the health care industry bleeds this country....er, I mean, conducts business. Let them open their mailbox to bills upon bills from all the various people who so much as poked their heads in the exam room. Let them have to pay extra for anesthesia.

Just a thought.

The Proposal

2009-03-27T09:30:00.001-04:00

"The Proposal"

When a company falls on difficult times, one of the things that seems to happen is they reduce their staff and workers. The remaining workers need to find ways to continue to do a good job or risk that their job would be eliminated as well. Wall street, and the media normally congratulate the CEO for making this type of "tough decision", and his board of directors gives him a big bonus.

Our government should not be immune from similar risks.

Therefore: Reduce the House of Representatives from the current 435 members to 218 members and Senate members from 100 to 50 (one per State). Also reduce remaining staff by 25%.

Accomplish this over the next 8 years. (two steps / two elections) and of course this would require some redistricting.

Some Yearly Monetary Gains Include:

$44,108,400 for elimination of base pay for congress. (267 members X $165,200 pay / member / yr.)

$97,175,000 for elimination of the above people's staff. (estimate $1.3 Million in staff per each member of the House, and $3 Million in staff per each member of the Senate every year)

$240,294 for the reduction in remaining staff by 25%.

$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork barrel ear-marks each year. (those members whose jobs are gone. Current estimates for total government pork earmarks are at $15 Billion / yr)

The remaining representatives would need to work smarter and would need to improve efficiencies. It might even be in their best interests to work together for the good of our country?

We may also expect that smaller committees might lead to a more efficient resolution of issues as well. It might even be easier to keep track of what your representative is doing.

Congress has more tools available to do their jobs than it had back in 1911 when the current number of representatives was established. (telephone, computers, cell phones just to name a few)

Summary of opportunity:

$44,108,400 reduction of congress members.

$282,100,000 for elimination of the reduced house member staff.

$150,000,000 for elimination of reduced senate member staff.

$59,675,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining house members.

$37,500,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining senate members.

$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork added to bills by the reduction of congress members.

$8,073,383,400 per year, estimated total savings. (that's 8-BILLION just to start!)

Big business does these types of cuts all the time.

If Congresspersons were required to serve 20, 25 or 30 years (like everyone else) in order to collect retirement benefits there is no telling how much we would save. Now they get full retirement after serving only ONE term. Now ask yourself, where could you find a job with those types of benefits? You CAN'T!

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

2009-03-24T09:34:00.001-04:00

The Arch Rival Roller Girls present:

Fistfull of Fishnets
Saturday, March 28

Didn't make the last game? Well don't make the same mistake this month! Need your derby fix? You're in luck! Come watch as the Smashinistas (1-0) go up against the Stunt Devils in a battle for the win!

Special guest appearance by Steve Ewing!

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.

(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 7:00pm
Bout at 8:00pm

TICKETS JUST $10!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

Purchase TIX online now!

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
Then bring some canned goods to every bout. Every two canned goods you bring will earn you one ticket for our raffle where you can win t-shirts, gift certificates and jewelry. There is no limit to the number of cans you can bring! All donations will go to Operation Food Search and will be given to the needy citizens of our area.

After party to follow upstairs from the track at the Upper Deck Bar & Grill! Free Admission!

See your favorite rollergirls and check out the new rookie additions to the Smashinistas and the Stunt Devils next Saturday! Then return on April 11 to see the Stunt Devils face off against the M-80s (0-1).

See you there

Loud People

2009-03-17T11:59:00.002-04:00

Why do people have to be loud? What is it with people (and I'm talking to you, females) having to yell or holler in order to express themselves? Why can't they just smile or say what they have to say without the ear-splitting screaming? And why, Ladies, do we have to talk louder when we are in a group? If we took turns we could all communicate and still save the ear drums, no?

I've been busy lately. Derby - its getting into it's thickest part of the season. This weekend I am driving to Indy, IN, to watch our travel team mop the floor with the Indy girls roller team. We just came off a narrow loss against Kansas City (80 - 89). They were ranked #1 two years ago, I think they are #7 now. We were down by 30 points at one time but rallied back to teach those KC girls the ARRG troupe ain't nothing to mess with.

My team, the St. Lunachix, take on the Columbia, MO (CoMo) girls April 4. What does that mean? We've been practicing our asses off, that's what that means! I have blisters, bruises, sore muscles, and achy joints. But I love each and every one of them.

The husband finally pulled his head out of his World of War-ass. Things have been going very well. We are going on a date, a REAL date, March 27th. Dressing up and everything. He doesn't know where we're going but I bought tickets today. He'll love, don't you worry about that.

We're trying to adopt a baby. The St. Louis Boxer Rescue is tough in their applications, boy. I think we could get into the FBI easier than adopt an adorable pup named Kilo. We're waiting to set up a home visit. Youl know my patience wears thin, I'm getting tired of the call-us-oh-we'll-call-you crap. Gimme my dog!!!!

Ta, y'all.

2009-03-04T12:22:00.001-05:00

The Arch Rival Roller Girls present:

Faster Roller Girl! Kill! Kill!
Saturday, March 7th

Join us as the Arch Rival Roller Girls battle the Kansas City Roller Warriors.. for bragging rights within the state - and the nation at large.

All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
(Behind Casa & Denny's, just off Lindbergh at I-55)

Doors at 7:00pm
Bout at 8:00pm

TICKETS JUST $10!
Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

Purchase TIX online now!

Or head over to our friends at Cheap TRX on Grand or Mamacita's on Gravois to grab some tix before the bout!

Want to earn some roller girl swag?
The Arch Rival Roller Girls, along with the help of our friends from Zombie Squad, will be holding a canned food drive this season.

We need help from our fans to make this canned food drive a success!

You will be rewarded for your charitable efforts! For every three canned goods you bring, you will receive a ticket to our raffle. And, there is no limit to the canned foods you can bring.

All donations will go to Operation Food Search, a local organization that serves to support the needy citizens of the St. Louis region.

After party to follow upstairs from the track at the Upper Deck Bar & Grill! Free Admission!

Don't forget! Our next local bout is Saturday, March 28th where the Stunt Devils will take on the Smashinistas (1-0).

Not A Good Combination

2009-03-04T09:13:00.002-05:00

When I walked out of my house this morning the air smelled like dog poop and bubblegum. Not a good combination. Now whenever I smell dog poop or bubblegum I will think of the other and that's just wrong. The thing that disgusted me was they actually went together in a weird, God-that's-gross kind of way. I wasn't a big fan of bubblegum before today, now I simply won't touch it.

Some stupid fat bitch on MetroLink today was coughing all morning and wouldn't cover her mouth. This is how people get and stay sick, numb boobs like this who don't give two shakes about hygiene. Just looking at her one could tell she didn't give a shit about her appearance or personal care, but hey, that's her right. It is NOT her right to give everyone within a 30 foot radius the illness that has it's grip on her. Stupid whore.

My sister has had a hard time lately. Her fiance had a horrible series of seizures a few weeks ago. He's fine now, but for a day there it was all terror and the unknown. As if that weren't enough, at the same time both her children came down with the flu. My mom came into town to help out, but now she's suffering in Alabama. Luckily I missed getting the germs this time.

As for me it's derby, derby, derby, work, derby. In that order. Things at home have improved. For now. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Post V-Day

2009-02-16T16:22:00.002-05:00

My V-Day wasn't all that bad. I spent most of it on skates for The Breeder's new music video. Yep, we were roller derby queens for a day. Kim Deal is a very nice person, it was a fun shoot. Of 'course, I'll not get that song out of my head for days still.

I got a new skate bag. The husband gave me one with wheels so I don't have to lug my old one around over my shoulder anymore. Good, I was getting lopsided.

He took me to dinner last night and asked me a question I've been pondering since. Am I happy? Hmmmm, that should be an easy question but for some reason it is not. No, I don't think I am. Why not? I simply don't know. When I try to think about it many webs of thought spin and collide to form one nightmarish ball of twisted thought. I can't make head nor tails of it. I'm too tired right now to really try.

That is all.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-12T09:51:00.002-05:00

I recently found out my sister and I have another thing in common - we both hate Valentine's Day.

It's a hurtful holiday. Especially when you're attached to a person who doesn't "believe" in it. To get back at "The Man" and prove his superiority over a "consumer driven holiday", said person will go out of his way to not celebrate it. Yeah, that'll show 'em!

For years I tried to celebrate this craptastic day with my husband but I always ended up getting hurt and rejected, so I've stopped. I don't buy shit for Valentine's Day. I don't pay attention to the stupid decorations or watch any of the lovey-dovey crap they put on TV. Every Feb. 14 I wake up pissed off. I go to bed happy because it is over.

Imagine, showing someone you care for them. Just who the hell wants to do that? Celebrate love? What the fuck for? People who feel they should be appreciated this one day of the year are selfish and stupid. How arrogant do you have to be to expect the person you work your ass off for, share a life with, have made sacrifices for, to show you some affection?

Bastards.

R.I.P. My Sweet Kitten

2009-01-16T15:53:00.002-05:00

My kitty, 16 years old, cranky, stubborn, and beautiful, went to the great litter box in the sky last night. He's raising hell in kitty heaven, fighting with his sister once more and wondering when he'll be fed again.

Last night I held him and said my goodbyes. He went peacefully. Even though I miss him terribly (and have been weepy all day) I know he is better off. When one takes a pet they know this day will come. Well, unless the pet outlives them...

Peace, my precious baby, and all my love. The dog keeps looking for you, he's very confused. That should make you happy.

What's WRONG With You?

2009-01-06T09:43:00.002-05:00

Really? Seriously? In this article, British parents are refusing to read their children time-honored fairy tales for fear their children will be emotionally scarred.

Um, aren't these the same fairy tales they were told as children? Did they turn out to be emotionally scarred? No, just stupid. Little Red Riding Hood walked through the woods alone and saw her Granny eaten by a wolf! Oh no! That's much worse than watching, oh, I don't know, the news, maybe? Because we all know wolves frequently dress in woman's clothing in order to get a meal, right?

I have little hope for the future. Little.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

2009-01-05T11:34:00.002-05:00

Where were you at midnight? I was in a heated pool with a cool glass of champagne watching the bats fly over the trees. It was nice.

I hope this will be a good year. For some of my friends it has started out rough. Jobs have been lost, relationships have ended, and bad news has dropped out of the sky. I wish them all well, I'm powerless to do much else.

On a good note, my sister got engaged over the holiday. She and her man have been living together for years and they share a baby, so I guess it's time they tied the knot. She is very happy and that makes me happy. My nephew thought that once you got engaged you got married right that minute and started crying because he didn't have a tux. So cute.

So I got suckered into watching that World Dance show last night, the one with all the countries competing against each other. I gotta say, not impressed. It wasn't just the fact that the dancers seemed slow and over choreographed, or that fact I can't stand to look at the host (that chin is just unnatural), but the fact that the camera men sucked balls. Here's a tip: When a dancer is doing a bunch of stuff with her legs, don't zoom in on her face. Also, you don't need to cut away to so many different angles. It's a dance, let the camera follow the dancers and leave the MTV style of editing to, well, MTV.

The Tango was the only dance that I liked. That was hot. The others seemed as if they were trying too hard or too little. The Australian dancers that tossed each other around could have been cool, but the "I'll just walk on stage to get into position" really ruined the impression, ya know? They looked like they were rehearsing, not dancing. Tap doesn't do anything for me, so the Irish (with that horrible gay mess in front, no less) didn't impress. I'm not saying it's easy to prance around like a fairy, it's just not enjoyable.

The greatest disappointment was the solo dancer for the USA. A popper, I'd seen him on "So You Think You Can Dance" and he blew me away. He can do such amazing things! He left my mouth hanging open with his ability. Where the hell was that last night? Can you say boring?

I think this show will tank. It's hard to watch and so far no country has really brought it. I'll wait for the next SYTYCD, thanks.

Sick Bitch

2008-12-19T14:17:00.002-05:00

My blog, my opinion. This lady just had her 18th child.

Sick. Bitch.

Who wants to be in their 40s and have a baby? Honestly, is she going to keep popping them out until one of them kills her? How would you feel if you were turning 20 and your parents were in their 60s? How many more will follow? How many will grow up without parents because they'll die of old age?

Who needs a family this big? Obviously there are some issues here. No woman in her right mind wants to be pregnant for 20 years. I doubt it has anything to do with bringing children into this world. There is some deep-seeded desire she has that she can only fulfill by being knocked up. Maybe when she's not pregnant she doesn't feel like she's worth very much.

Sick.

If she keeps going her children will give birth to their own children, and those children will have Uncles and Aunts younger than they are. How fucked up is that?

Blackwater Stain

2008-12-18T10:36:00.002-05:00

Well, well, well, seems our contractors over in Iraq aren't pretty little angels of mercy. Who is surprised by this? Anyone? Anyone?

I have been against private contractors in Iraq since I started hearing about them. Especially those private contractors backed by companies who's money lines the pockets of our political leaders. Do some research, you'll find out what I mean.

Guilty of murder... finally! I'm sure there are a lot more dead Iraqis with Blackwater bullets in them. That's right, I said it! Companies like Blackwater went over to Iraq and acted like they owned the damn country. They knew who was backing them and chose to redefine the term "diplomatic immunity." I'm sure if a truly independent panel went into a deep investigation of Blackwater we'd find thing that would really shock and disgust us, not to mention embarrass this country even more.

Someone should pay for this. The 5 guards indicted on murder charges is just skimming the surface. Let me rephrase that, someone at the top should pay for this. Shit rolls down hill, let's stop messing with the little turds and go after the asshole.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Tidbits

2008-12-03T10:19:00.002-05:00

So Axl Rose of Guns-N-Roses is a little ticked at Dr. Pepper for that whole "free soda when the incredibly slow, and rapidly fattening, loser singer from the 80s tries to recapture his glory by finally releasing an album he's been working on for 17 years" thing.

If not for Dr. Pepper your name wouldn't be in the news, Rose, so get a grip.

I thought about an ex-friend of mine last night and for the first time a rancid stream of bile did not rise in my throat. Well, not immediately.

I had my first derby practice last night (break is over). Oh, sore muscles and bruises, how I have missed ye! This season we are going to get our asses kicked, there is no other way around that. We have a tough, tough, tough season ahead of us. I am going to be in such great shape!

That is all.

Well, Duh!

2008-12-02T09:48:00.002-05:00

It seems the world is waking up to the fact that terrorists aren't stupid.

Wow, they actually used technology to plan and execute their attack? And here I was looking for the tin cans connected by a string. I just wonder how they got electricity all the way out to the cave?

After 9/11 I assumed terrorists, and those who wish to do harm, would only have to watch the news in order to learn everything they need to learn about taking this country, and other countries, apart. I mean, we don't keep anything a secret. If we're afraid you'll poison our water supply we'll plaster it all over CNN and even tell you how.

Today's technology is great. You can leave your house with nothing but a Crackberry and you can do pretty much anything you want. That GPS system you're so fond of? Yeah, that works just as well for evil as it does for good. You being able to find pretty much anything and anyone on the Internet? Mmm-hmmm, so can they.

I just love how people are so clueless they are shocked, SHOCKED, when terrorists prove themselves to be clever. Wake up, people. It's not the stupid people who pull these things off.

Ho, Ho, Holiday

2008-11-25T11:07:00.001-05:00

Join the Arch Rival Roller Girls on December 6th @ FUBAR for a Christmas party like no other!

Sexy Santas ~ Kissing Booth ~ Raffle

Live music by
My Boy Ox
The Blind Eyes
& Trigger 5

A new Day

2008-11-25T11:03:00.003-05:00

Me, Myself and I
That's all I got in the end
That's what I found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend

Freaking

2008-11-21T12:25:00.003-05:00

Man, oh man! A lot of my roller derby girls are losing their jobs, or having a significant other lose their jobs. Some have large portfolios that are dwindling down to pennies on the dollar. They all have mortgages, car payments, kids in school (well, some of them).

It's fucking scary. It also breaks my heart. I can't do anything for any of them. My university is feeling the pinch as well, they've put a freeze on new hires. Our Chancellor (whom I adore, by the way) is taking a huge pay cut in order to keep jobs. They've also put a hold on future construction projects, I had to check and make sure hell hadn't frozen over on that one. there is nothing, NOTHING, my university likes more than new construction.

The fear of what may happen if our economy doesn't bounce back is creeping in. I'm having worries I never thought I'd have. I'm paying more attention to my grandmother, she lived through the Depression. I'm putting aside more cash "just in case." I don't trust our institutions to have our best interests at heart should something catastrophic come up.

But hey, at least we all get a free Dr. Pepper!

It's That Time Again

2008-11-20T12:01:00.002-05:00

The Barbarian is depressed. Always happens around this time of year, I'm not sure why. I'm feeling ignored and discarded by the husband again. World of Warcraft came out with a new expansion pack. I knew it was coming so it's not much of a surprise. My work load has dwindled so I find myself with lots of time, and derby is on break. and I've been sick for the last three weeks!

I don't know, I just start thinking about all the things I could be doing with my life. I go back over all the decisions I've made in my life and wonder if I've made the right choices. Should I have given the Peace Corps a try? What if I had traveled more when I was younger? What if I had gone to college instead of joining the work force so early? Who would I have met? What kind of adventures could I have had?

I don't regret my life, I want you to know that. But....there is this wonder. Did you ever see that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where Worf, the Klingon, falls into some sort of parallel universe and sees many different Worfs, all living the life he would have had if he'd made different choices. In one he was Captain. In one he was married to Deanna and had kids. In one he was an enemy of the Fleet.

I'd like to see that, just for a few moments. I imagine some of them would not be a surprise. Others, though...

I guess I'm feeling unproductive. I'm 36 years old, when I was younger I thought by now I'd be wealthy and successful, have traveled all over the world, and I'd have lots and lots of friends. I'd be married to a man who would do everything with me and we'd have lots of crazy adventures. I'd have a really nice car and a great home. My job would be unbeleivably satisfying. You know, the old song and dance about 1 billion of us want.

I haven't written anything in months. This bothers me. I sit in front of the computer and nothing wants to come out. I seek diversions to take my time, but it's always in the back of my mind. Hundreds of stories fighting for dominance, none of them getting the final bell. *sigh*

Changes are coming, I know. They always do. Good or bad, changes are coming.

File this under: Tell Us Something We Don't Know

2008-11-18T09:40:00.002-05:00

Hey, it's official, Gulf War Illness is real.

Wow, really? So we the public (who has been telling you assholes in government and military this for a loooooong time) are right once again. What's going to be next, you'll actually report the suicide rate for soldiers returning from Iraq is up?

I just love how it isn't official until sooooooooo much evidence has been collected that only a moronic douche bag would argue against it. 175,000 soliders. It took 175,000 soldiers to convince the Research Advisory Committee on Gulf War Veterans' Illnesses that this shit was real. I guess 174,000 just wasn't enough. People have been seeking help and fighting the govornment for years, I hope this finally gives them the help they need in order to move on.

But isn't that just like our country? Thanks for the service! Sorry about the nightmares, cold sweats, crazy thoughts, and physical pain you've indured, but that's your problem, not ours.
What? What's that? 175,000, you say? Well, then we might just possibly have an issue. Maybe. We'll spend a few more years looking into it.

Assholes.

More Klan News

2008-11-13T10:01:00.002-05:00

I've been seeing a lot of news about the Klan lately. The body of a woman found in a ditch, a Klan leader's house raided, and then this. Seems the KKK is about to be sued.

Could the fact we've elected our first black president have anything to do with this? I wonder!

I have a feeling we'll be hearing a lot more from the Klan once Obama is in charge. I certainly hope they come out in droves, it's so hard to hunt them down when they scurry around like cockroaches. And they should be hunted. They give the rest of us Whities a bad name. Not all of us are like that. A good deal of us realize how immature and idiotic it is to wish death upon those who are not like us.

*sigh*

File this under "Get Over It!"

2008-11-12T14:19:00.002-05:00

Enough, shallow Hollywood bitches, enough.

Look, it's never pretty when a woman steals another woman's man, but it's extra ugly when that thief is absolutely beautiful. Ok, Jennifer, we understand that you're still pissed the hottest guy on the planet slipped through your perfectly manicured fingers, but it's time to get over it, ok? It's not Angelina's fault the press smears your pathetic love life all over the media and clamors all over Ang and Brad to hear about theirs. Unlike you, they try to keep it under wraps.

Ang is more than welcome to share her love-life with Vogue magazine. If that happens to include the time when you and Brad were married then you're just going to have to suck it up. If Brad was 100% happy in his marriage he would have never fell for Ang in the first place. Perhaps your bitterness is misplaced. Instead of taking pathetic kitten swipes at Ang you should funnel your hisses at Brad.

And take some responsibility while you're at it. A perfectly happy, loved, adored man does not jump ship. A man who feels he is being under-appreciated, ignored, taken for granted, and denied will jump ship. Seeing how he's been happy with Ang and you seem to break up with every guy you date, you might want to address your own problems before you try to create problems with others.

This is not news. This is bullshit. Get over it and move on. Last week this country made fucking history, and today you're whining is top news? Perfect example of what is wrong with this country.

Keep your bitchin in the kitchen!

Men/Boys

2008-11-07T10:10:00.002-05:00

My husband has been working on a new computer for the last few months. He ordered all the separate parts and spent a whole week putting the thing together, only to find it didn't' work. He worked, adjusted, wiggled, and replaced so much he was at the point of dismantling it and selling it for parts.

Then the new motherboard arrived, and (chorus singing) it worked! Not since the doc brought Frankenstein back from the dead has a man been so happy.

Once it came to life my husband reverted to age 12. He bounced around the house clapping, singing, snapping his fingers, and kissing the dog. He's been giggly. And for the last two night I've barely seen him. I can't be mad, though. To see his happy, smiling face when he does emerge from the office is worth it.

It's also a reminder that men never grow up. They may pretend for a long time, but in every man there is a boy just waiting, waiting, for play time.

YES WE CAN!

2008-11-05T09:34:00.002-05:00

My sister emailed me and asked, “What’s up with your blog?” I guess I didn’t come across as happy yesterday. That wasn’t my intention. Let me explain.

No, no time, let me sum up.

We still have a long road ahead of us. Unless you’re a tsunami, massive change takes time. And let’s face it, we need massive change.

If Obama declared this country would switch to a national health care plan tomorrow, we wouldn’t see the benefits right away. The health care industry would have the biggest collective shit in history. There would be road blocks and filibusters and all sorts of legal battles, they’d want the President impeached, they'd throw hookers though is window and then call the paparazzi, and the media would have a fucking field day with all of it. Why? Because this is how our society operates. We put up with the road blocks, the filibusters, the legal battles are splashed all over the media, and half this country can’t tell you where Afghanistan is, but they’d know the name of that hooker tossed through Obama’s window.

We have the best change in history to turn this country around, to fix our health care industry, to educate our youth, to overhaul our political systems, and to make this a better country for ourselves.

But it’s going to be hard work. We’re going to have to put down the Enquirers and People magazines and pick up a copy of the constitution. We’re going to have to hold those who put this country in the crapper responsible for what they’ve done. (We need to expose the major corporations for the bribing, lying, corrupt sacks of shit they are. We need to expose the crooked politicians. We need to bring our boys home from Iraq and make those private contractors pay them for the jobs they stole.) On and on, we need some fixing.

Yes, I’m very happy with the way the election ended. Very. But we have many miles to go before we sleep, my friends. Many.

And So It Begins

2008-11-04T14:33:00.002-05:00

History is being made today. That's what they say. It's true. Today I felt like I was a small part of something so big I can't comprehend it.

But I'm scared. There are so many unanswered questions about our future. If Obama wins, what will he do? Will he keep his promises? Or will his blood run red down the street like so many before him and we'll be left with Biden? What if McCain wins? Will the country spontaneously combust into fits of violence? Will there be a mass exodus from this country, or will we just roll over and bury our heads in the sand for the next 4 years.

And what of the world? How is the outcome of this election going to change the world? Will it? For good? For bad? Will the changes that take place benefit this country?

SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!

So history is being made, but what of the future? We'll have to wait and see.

(On a side note, if Obama wins I have a co-worker who's face I will constantly rub in that fact.)

I Love My Husband!

2008-10-30T11:32:00.002-04:00

I've been incredibly busy this last week or two and my husband has had to pick up my slack. I know being there for each other is a part of marriage, but he has gone beyond his marital obligation. I'm soooo happy I found this guy. I should marry him! Oh, wait...

Tomorrow is our 5th anniversary. Woo, five years! it's been a pretty good 5 years. Last year we spent our anniversary apart. I got sick and the dog got sprayed by a skunk. I'm hoping this year will go better.

Back to hubby. I love you, baby! You're the creamy center of my Oreo! I don't know what I would do without you, I don't even want to think about it. I know I can be a total pain in the ass at times, but you put up with it beautifully and I can't thank you enough. Here's to 5!

I Got A Brand New Pair of Rollerskates

2008-10-24T09:44:00.002-04:00

I skated in my new skates for the first time last night. What a difference! My new skates feel like part of my foot. When I move, they move. When I lean, they lean. When I want speed they take off. My old skates were great, but they were a bit big, so my foot swam around in them a lot and at the end of practice I felt like I had two cinder blocks tied to my feet.

The new skates rub, though. I'm going to have to go through a few blisters, I just know it. Ah, well, price to be paid.

I got out of the shower last night and my dog was like, "Oh, you're done, let's go outside!" Um, humans can't go out naked, sweetie, we get arrested. So he did that oh-I-can't-believe-you're-taking-so-long dog prance while I threw some clothes on. Spoiled!

Have a good day.

Weeeeeeeeeeee Are the Champions, My Friends!

2008-10-13T13:36:00.002-04:00

We whooped Stunt Devil butt, 128-40.

We scored more points in the second period than the first, every single one of our girls jammed, and we had no major injuries! It was a stellar game. The M80s came together like a machine. After the 4th jam it was M80s all the way. The Stunts played a great game, but we dominated!

our next season starts Feb. 21. It will be nice to have a break and let my body heal a bit. I have a really nice bruise coming in on my arm and my neck hurts from getting kicked in the head, but hey, I feel great! And I love derby!!

It's Tomorrow!!!!

2008-10-10T11:23:00.001-04:00

The Arch Rival Roller Girls championship is right around the corner and we know you've heard this a thousand times before but believe us when we say YOU DO NOT want to miss this!

The Stunt Devils (Up and Coming) are geared up to give the M-80s (Undefeated) a run for their money, or championship title in this case.
It's sure to be THE battle of all battles from the ARRG 2008 season!

Saturday, October 11th
All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct.
& Hwy 55

Doors @ 7:00, Bout @ 8:00

Tickets are just $10 and available online through Brown Paper Tickets or locally at Cheap Trx on Grand and Mamacita's Mexican Grill & Cantina on Gravois.

Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

****GROUP DISCOUNTS NOW AVAILABLE!****
Groups of 20+ people will be able to purchase tickets for $8/ticket IN ADVANCE ONLY by contacting Buns N. Burn 'er at groupdiscount@archrivalrollergirls.com

Show your spirit! - ARRG will be holding a Star Wars costume contest during halftime and the winner will recieve two Season Passes to the ARRG 2009 Season!

Have a drink and mingle with your favorite rollergirl after the bout at our afterparty held upstairs at Van Patricks!

This is the last game of the season, so don't miss out on the derby action!!
ARRG's fourth official season starts up in Feb '09!

For more information, visit www. archrivalrollergirls. com or our myspace page.

See you there!

I Love My Husband!

2008-10-09T10:59:00.002-04:00

Last night he took me out to dinner for my birthday. We had a great time! It was nice to sit and talk, we haven't been able to do a lot of that lately. He took me to a nice place so we dressed up a bit. I just gotta say...........YUMMY! My husband cleans up nice!

It will be five years this year. I'm so glad I married this man. Hopefully we'll be able to spend our anniversary together without the presence of a skunk.

I love you, baby!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-10-07T14:06:00.002-04:00

Is it conceited to wish yourself a happy birthday? If so, I'm conceited! Today started off perfectly, it's rainy and cool. I know a lot of people like sunny, warm days but they can have the sun. The sun is overrated, what does it do for you in winter? Nothing. I like dreary days.

The husband gave me a skull for my birthday, how romantic! And the kids gave me a card. They must have argued over the language because half of it is dog and the other half is cat, but at least they didn't tear it to shreds like last year.

And when I came to work today I received chocolate. How does that not make a day special?

Tonight I have derby practice and then a special M80 private practice. Nothing like getting the crap kicked out of you for 3+ hours to say "Have a special day!" At least I know I'll sleep well tonight. Tomorrow the husband is taking me out to dinner, woo-hoo!

Don't forget I'm playing in the Championship bout this Sat., Oct. 11. My family is coming to see me, so I'm going to pay particular attention to kicking ass. Don't miss it!

Fan-tabulous Weekend

2008-10-06T12:02:00.003-04:00

I had such a great weekend! Friday night me and the girls of ARRG put on three derby demos at Oktoberfest. The track was half the size of a regular track, so cute! The barriers were made of hay, when we knocked each other into the bales the crowd freaking loved it. It was a bit rough to skate on, it was slightly downhill and there was an oil spot right in the middle of it. But it was so much fun and the crowd loved us! When we skated Oktoberfest pretty much came to a halt. Chokehold Chanel got a nasty hay-burn on her butt, ooooooo. That's gonna leave a mark.

Then we got to play! Thanks to Bud we roller girls got to drink for free and eat free brats. Yummy, sooo good. Unfortunately they also had an adult sized air-filled bouncy thing. My wife Doom ended up kicking me in the nose. Ouch! It's still a bit sore but luckily it didn't bruise.

Sat. night my derby wives took me out for my birthday. We ended up at CBGBs on Grand where I got to see a lot of friends I haven't really seen since I joined derby. It was a lot of fun catching back up with them. Buns and I went to breakfast afterwards and I make a land speed record of enhaling a chicken fried steak, let me tell you.

Sunday I had a grueling practice. Part hungover from the night before, part sore from skating on the concrete Friday night, I didn't think I was going to make it. But my team rallied around me and by golly, I ended up kicking some ass. And well, too. We are so ready for the Championship this Sat., Oct. 11. I can't wait to play, it's going to be a great game. We also had a league meeting last night, not so much fun but very informative.

Next Sunday I plan on sitting on my sofa watching football, dog at my feet, cat on my lap, husband by my side, and I'm not moving alllllll day!

Busy Weekend

2008-10-03T10:17:00.002-04:00

This weekend is going to fly by. I have Oktoberfest this evening. We roller girls are putting on 3 15-minute bouts for those drinking beer and eating brats. The Point will be broadcasting live so don't miss it if you're in the area.

Sat. night my derby wives are taking me out for my birthday. This should be fun. I have no idea where we're going but I'm looking forward to it.

Then Sunday I have practice (could be rough) and then our league meeting. Our next bout is October 11, after that I should have time to do things and actually get to see my husband. I love derby, but I will be glad to have a break.

My folks are coming into town for the Championship, yeah! They get to watch me kick some ass! I hope to make them proud.

Scar Wars

2008-09-29T11:51:00.001-04:00

The Arch Rival Roller Girls championship is right around the corner and we know you've heard this a thousand times before but believe us when we say YOU DO NOT want to miss this!

The Stunt Devils (1-3) are geared up to give the M-80s (4-0) a run for their money, or championship title in this case. It's sure to be THE battle of all battles from the ARRG 2008 season!

Saturday, October 11th
All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct. & Hwy 55

Doors @ 7:00, Bout @ 8:00

Tickets are just $10 and available online through Brown Paper Tickets or locally at Cheap Trx on Grand and Mamacita's Mexican Grill & Cantina on Gravois.

Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

****GROUP DISCOUNTS NOW AVAILABLE!****
Groups of 20+ people will be able to purchase tickets for $8/ticket IN ADVANCE ONLY by contacting Buns N. Burn 'er at groupdiscount@archrivalrollergirls.com

Have a drink and mingle with your favorite rollergirl after the bout at our afterparty held upstairs at Van Patricks!

This is the last game of the season, so don't miss out on the derby action!!
ARRG's fourth official season starts up in Feb '09!

For more information, visit www.archrivalrollergirls.com or our myspace page.

See you there!

YOU MUST READ

2008-09-26T10:18:00.001-04:00

McCain wants to take away our Health Insurance!!!

Read it.

This man can not get elected!!!

2008-09-25T15:17:00.002-04:00

Here's a little something to consider:

Obama:

Occidental College - Two years

Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations

Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Biden:

University of Delaware - Double major: N.A. in history and B.A. in political science

Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

McCain:

United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 out of 899

Palin:

Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester - undeclared major

North Idaho College - 2 semesters - undeclared major

University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism

Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester

U of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism with specialization in sports reporting

Ding, Dong, You're Freaking GONE!

2008-09-23T10:00:00.004-04:00

In my department there is a person I do not care for. In fact, I pretty much wish them a slow, painful death. The feeling is mutual.

This person started as a grad student and when they graduated I'd hoped they'd move on. They didn't, they stayed here as a postdoc. Well, now their professor and employer is leaving soon and guess what? Well, let's just say they don't have to go home, but they can't stay here!

It will be so nice to walk the halls and not see this person's face ever again.

How You Like 'Em Now?

2008-09-18T10:59:00.003-04:00

W. Bush bankrupted or destroyed every company he's ever operated, and now he's doing it to this country. Who's surprised by this?

And yet there is still a country full of retards getting ready to vote republican at the next election.

Here's something for you to look at.

I've Been Waiting For This

2008-09-12T09:22:00.002-04:00

A video of a limping, skinny, and heroic John McCain has just "resurfaced."

What fucking timing! Here when he's up for election, man, what a coincidence. I mean, it couldn't be that the campaign backing McCain released this video to play on the sympathy of voters, could it? Y'know, to remind them that McCain suffered horribly during a war (that most people didn't want to fight anyway) so they can tout him as patriotic and heroic, and subtly state that not voting for McCain is a vote against everything American. Oh, surly not.

More smoke screens, people. Yes, McCain suffered horribly. Yes, it's a very nice miracle that he survived and woooo, wasn't he just the shit. BACK THEN!! Let's take a look at his record recently, shall we? I'll sum it up nice and neat - McCain is Bush's lap dog! He has backed Bush on most of the shit Bush has pulled out of his ass. He has the same money lining his pockets that line Bush's. He's being controlled by the same lobyists and corporate giants that control Bush. if you want another Bush in the White House then by all means, fall for this bullshit.

What a crock! and the saddest thing of all is that peop[le will fall for it. OPlf vets or proud parents of active military will feel the swell of pride in their hearts these images invoke and riding on that euphoria they will vote for this bastard. it's what the Republicans are counting on.

Don't be fooled! The past is just that, PAST. Stick to the present and pay REALLY CLOSE attention to the future.

2008-09-05T14:31:00.001-04:00

Our INTERLEAGUE bout against Windy City earlier this year was a near sellout, so get your tickets NOW for ARRG's next sanctioned WFTDA interleague bout!

Saturday, September 13th
All American Sports Mall
11133 Lindbergh Business Ct. & Hwy 55

****SPECIAL EVENT! SPECIAL TIME!****

Doors @ 6:30, Bout @ 7:30

Game 1 = One 30-minute period
ARRG B-Team vs NWA's Backwoods Betties
ARRG's newly formed interleague B-team, composed of many of your favorite skaters and next year's all-stars play some of Northwest Arkansas' up-and-comers in a shortened bout of just ONE (1) 30-minute period.

Game 2 = Two 30 minute periods
ARRG's All Stars vs NWA's Killbillies
ARRG & NWA's WFTDA Chartered Interleague Travel Teams go head-to-head and vie to improve their national rankings!

Get the whole thing for just $10! Kids 10 yrs or younger get in FREE!

Tickets are available online through Brown Paper Tickets or locally at Cheap Trx on Grand and Mamacita's Mexican Grill & Cantina on Gravois.

****GROUP DISCOUNTS NOW AVAILABLE!****
Groups of 20+ people will be able to purchase tickets for $8/ticket IN ADVANCE ONLY by contacting Buns N. Burn 'er at groupdiscount@archrivalrollergirls.com

Have a drink and mingle with your favorite rollergirl after the bout at our afterparty held upstairs at Van Patricks!

For more information or our season schedule, visit www.archrivalrollergirls.com or our myspace page.

See you there!

This Palin Bitch

2008-09-03T11:29:00.003-04:00

You're going to be hearing a lot about McCain's choice for VP, especially the fact that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant.

Don't be fooled! They are using teen pregnancy to hide the major issues. Oh, look, a 17-year0old is preggers, let's forget about the war and the private contractors that are killing our soldiers. Let's forget about the huge debt we've racked up int he last 8 years, or that our country is a complete shit-hole because of the Republicans. Let's concentrate on teen sex!

Get past it and stick to the issues that matter!

Poor Obama

2008-09-03T11:10:00.002-04:00

Lieberman calls Obama Young, Untested

Do you know what he really means? Obama hasn't been around long enough to be corrupted by lobbyists, special interest groups, and old school politicians serving their own self interests. How is this a bad thing? I don't know about you, but I've had enough of the old boy's club. This country is totally fucked, thank you very much, and if it takes a young, untested person to straighten it out then I am alllllll for it.

Sorry?

2008-09-02T10:09:00.002-04:00

So I've been reading the news and it seems P. Diddy not being able to fly his private jet because of gas prices somehow qualifies as news.

Sorry?

WHO CARES!!!! Some little cry-baby asshole can't fly his private jet, so CNN has to report it? WTF is happening to this country? John McCain's running mate has a pregnant teenage daughter, a report has just surfaced that New Orleans may not be worth saving (???) and guess what, there is still a war going on, but oh no! We have to take some time out for P. diddy and his air woes.

Give me a freaking break!

Floatin' Floatin' Floatin'

2008-08-20T10:31:00.002-04:00

Keep those rafts a rollin'

I have a float trip with my derby league this weekend and I am so excited! I haven't been on a float trip in years. I just hope the weather will cooperate with us. It's been a bitch organizing it, but well worth it.

Hubby isn't going. Floating is not his thing, and spending that much time with my crazy league could potentially damage him. I'm sharing my tent with Danikka, Buns, and Iggy. THAT should be fun! We have this new huge 8-person tent that I've never used. It has a screened in front porch and everything! I'm so excited!

Now I just need to get through today and tomorrow.

We Kicked Ass!!

2008-08-18T09:55:00.000-04:00

Our travel team tromped on the Lincoln derby girls 78 - 57. It was the most spectacular game I have ever seen. It was not an easy victory, but we really pulled it out in the end. The 16+ hours I spent on a bus with my team (8+ post-game, ugh, stinky) was well worth it.

Now I need to concentrate on getting the B team whipped into shape. Our first game is Sept. 13. You in St. Louis? You should check us out. The theme of that bout is "Clash of the Titans" and I have a costume that just won't quit. Oooo, I'm so excited!

Life is Good

2008-08-14T14:04:00.002-04:00

This weekend I am heading to Lincoln, Nebraska for our last derby away game of the season. We've charted a really nice bus so we don't have to all take it up the ass on gas, or stay in a hotel. Of 'course, the 8 hours back in the dead of night might be a bitch, but I'll have Mr. Alcohol to help with that one. Can you say afterparty?

My husband and I had a very nice night last night. We've been spending a lot of time away from each other, what with derby and his World of Warcraft. So last night we finally re-connected as a couple again. It was nice.

He's working with a crazy client he can't stand, so the boy is a bit stressed. I think I'll bake him cookies tonight.

Mother Russia

2008-08-12T11:55:00.002-04:00

Here we go again!

Vladimir Putin was the President of Russia. He is a man who likes the way the country was ran in the old days. He is a fan of the KGB and surrounds himself with men who think like he does. He had to step down as President but that's ok because he then became Prime Minister. The man won't be stopped until he has his country the way he wants it.

I feel he wants it to be the Russia of the cold war, and he will do all he can to make it that way. Take poor Georgia. They bombed the fuck out of it. Why? I don't think it has anything to do with what you read in the news. I think it is the first pawn in a political chess match Putin is playing. What is his end goal? Why is he doing this?

I will be keeping a close eye on this. I have a feeling this is just the beginning. What are we in for?

The Olympics are Here!

2008-08-08T11:54:00.002-04:00

Woo-hoo! It's Olympic time again. Gymnastics, swimming, running, hurdling, weight lifting, and allllll sorts of good things. I am so excited!

The opening ceremony is tonight, this is one of my favorite things. The opening ceremony in Australia is still one of my favorites, I hope China can top it. I really like the fanfare, the introduction of the countries, and the lighting of the torch. I just wish the commentators would shut the hell up sometimes. Oh well, worth it!

All the human rights violations, menu choices, and political undercurrents can go to hell tonight. I'll think about those tomorrow. Tonight I want to look into humanities spirit of competition and view one of the small things that has always united us, at least for a moment, as one.

Just a Question

2008-08-07T09:22:00.003-04:00

Who the hell cares what Paris Hilton thinks? i sure don't. Why is this little Git back in the news? Now there are full stories about how she memorized her spoofs - all by her little self.

This is what is wrong with this country! Let's forget there is a presidential race and concentrate on our haven't-done-a-damn-thing-to-deserve-it celebrities. There has been more talk of Brett Favre than voting for a president.

We are totally fucked.

Another win - Bring on the Championship!

2008-08-04T12:45:00.003-04:00

The M80s beat the Smashinistas 98 - 70 this weekend. I played a lot more than I did my first bout, about 35%. I felt I did a good job, and my teammates seemed happy with my performance. It was so exciting!! I love derby!

I hurt my foot again, so I have to go back to the doctor. I certainly hope it is not broken. I'm supposed to be on the B team for our travel team game Sept. 13. We'll see.

Love and peace, y'all!

Men Are Stupid

2008-08-01T08:57:00.002-04:00

Why can't a man comfort a woman? That's what this whole problem between hubby and I has been about. It's not hard. Here's the key - when a woman is feeling down (and it's not your fault) be nice to her.

That's it.

Don't come up with excuses or just keep on doing what you always do, go out of your way to be nice.

Now, some men may not know what being nice to a woman means. So here are a few ideas for those of you who are completely clueless:

*Buy her flowers
*Buy her alcohol
*Take her to dinner
*Make her laugh
*Sit next to her, put your arm around her, and talk to her about the problem
*Make love to her
*Take a walk with her
*Watch a sappy chick flick
*Invite her friends over (provided you know which friends to invite. This one is for those men who really, really know his wife's friends.)
*If you have children, take charge and give her a break

You getting the idea? I certainly hope these tips will help you avoid the terrible consequences of not being nice to your woman when she is upset. Trust me, it ain't pretty.

700

2008-07-31T09:19:00.003-04:00

This is my 700th post, but I'm afraid it won't be a happy one. I'm sad today. A friend of mine has died. I mourn his loss, but I am also mourning the loss of my husband.

See, my husband has a moral high horse about people who commit suicide and he's been riding it all over the place. He feels people who commit suicide do not deserve sympathy. If anything, they deserve scorn. The thing is I am not asking my husband to have sympathy for my friend, I am asking him to have sympathy for me. His answer is no. If anything, not only am I not getting the sympathy, I am getting the scorn.

In a marriage your spouse is the one person you should be able to rely on during hard times, they have the shoulder you get to cry on. I think having no shoulder would be better than the cold shoulder I am getting now. I am sad today, and my husband doesn't care. No, this is not a happy post.

Sad News for ARRG

2008-07-29T10:21:00.002-04:00

The Arch Rival Roller Girls have suffered a terrible loss. Our ref and friend Sir Psycho Skinny died yesterday morning. He was 27. He will be greatly missed. I saw him Saturday night and we had a great time. We're all shocked and very sad. This Saturday's bout will be dedicated to him.

Batman - Not For Kids

2008-07-22T09:36:00.002-04:00

I read a report where parents are angry that the newest Batman movie is "too dark" for their children. All I have to say is - who fucking cares!

How many kids movies are out there now? Ever heard of Wall-E or the future block buster Space Chimps? If you're too stupid to surmise from the movie trailers that this might be a kid-unfriendly movie than that's YOUR fault. Just because the movie has the word Batman in it does not mean it is the cuddly, laughable Batman as portrayed by Adam West. Do a little research.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, is Batman: Dark Knight rated G or PG? NO! You retards! Those two globe things sunk into your face are called EYES, use them. Read a freaking paper. Look it up on the internet. If you're too lazy of a parent to know what kind of movie you're taking your kids to than Batman being "too dark" is the least of your problems.

If you want kid-friendly, go to Disneyland.

A Moment of Quiet

2008-07-18T10:00:00.002-04:00

This morning I woke up early and went to lay on the couch while hubby watched the news. Our pooch curled up beside me. His little body relaxed against me and shared it's warmth. The soft fur of his ear tickled my lips. He lay his little head on my arm and closed his eyes. Such total trust and devotion. We lay there for maybe four minutes before I had to get up and start my day.

Such a simple thing, this gift of love. Just his fur under my arm and steady breathing, the epitome of relaxation. I am privileged to have had that moment.

Back in the Saddle Again

2008-07-17T11:42:00.000-04:00

We had a wonderful vacation. J & A, as always, were supreme hosts. The trip down was uneventful until we hit Hwy 16. Now, if you are not familiar with that particular southern highway it is a study in motorized torture. It is flat, straight, long, and surrounded by trees. For 160+ miles the view does not change. The only good thing about it is you can set the cruise control at 95 and get through it as quickly as possible.

However, when we hit 16 the world’s first and only monsoon hurricane hit our car. It rained so hard we could do at max, and including possible injury, 40mph. To tease us the monsoon/hurricane would slack from time to time, then come back with a vengeance. The lightening was so bright I felt we needed a welding mask in order to keep driving. We finally made it to Savannah and after swimming through downtown showed up soggy and tired at J & A’s house.

Let the drinking commence!

Sat. morning we woke and I tried to call my old boss S. She wanted to spend the day floating and drinking on the river. Sounded good to me. Waiting for her call A told me we had to get ready for the party. The night before they’d told us they had a party Sat. night. I thought it was one they were working. Duh! They were having a party for us! They had to get a few things from the “Kitchen” (the new super-structure they built a few years ago). So hubby and I help load two pans of thick, juicy steaks, a pan of big ol’ fat shrimp, and a huge box of the largest King crab legs I have ever seen. We hoofed it all back to the house. Still no call from S. So A and I decided to go shopping.

A had varicose vein surgery on her leg the day before so our trip was short. When we got back to the house J and hubby were there to meet us. We went to lunch at this wonderful place and I introduced J to Corona. He likey. I ordered the club sandwich and was brought this behemoth platter of bread and meat cut into four quarters. I could only stuff two halves of this monster into my face before I threw in the towel. When we got home it was nap time, then I got ready for the party.

There is something about seeing a lot of old friends in one place after a long absence that makes a person feel so wonderful. I laughed all night. It was with a warm, loved, and slightly drunk (ok, more than slightly) feeling that I went to bed. That came crashing to the ground at 8am Sunday when J started yelling up the stairs about steak and eggs. Why? Why would someone do that! It wasn’t near as horrible as J calling all of his employees who were at the party waking them up. One of them hadn’t gotten home until 4am. After 45 minutes of calls only one showed up, Sh. Poor Sh. He and J proceeded to spend the next 16 hours watching TV and drinking. When hubby and I got back from Hilton Head they were belligerent and slurry. And they had eaten the rest of my monster club. When we went to bed they were still at it! Sh left about 4am. When A called him at 7am he was at work. Seems he drove his car into the fence on the way out that morning. It was a long, horrible day for Sh. All together now, “Awwwwwwww.”

I slept most of the day on Sunday (after J’s rude interruption). I’m not ashamed to say it. It felt damn good. Then I went shopping. God bless Cato. I always find the best stuff! By the time we went to Hilton Head to see our friends I was about caught up. We had a nice time on Hilton Head. The only thing I don’t like about that island is it has no character. All the buildings look the same, all the same colors and shape. For being one of the most expensive places in the country you’d think they would use a little more imagination.

Monday rolled around and I finally heard from my old boss S. I had her work number and it never occurred to her to check it’s voicemail. We went to visit her and her family. They’re great, other than recovering from a tornado that took out half their trees and scared the living shit out of their 5-year-old. Now every time she hears thunder she runs to the bathroom and locks herself in. Poor thing, I can’t blame her. S has a new office. I’m so jealous! Every time I visit the south I get the urge to move back, but this was a huge push in that direction. I could see what improvements I could make, how well S and I would work together. Boo-hoo, I miss her! Now some bitch I don’t even know is sitting in my office doing my job.

Leaving early Tuesday morning was bittersweet. I was anxious to get home but I was loath to leave. I love Savannah. I miss her. I miss my friends. I love where I am now. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy in one place. We made great time on the way home and picked up our dog before heading home and crashing in a big pile. I’ve been detoxing for the last two days. I gained about 5 pounds. I have practice tonight and I am going to be a wreck.

Woo-ha!

2008-07-10T09:20:00.002-04:00

I just got off the phone with my old boss in Savannah. I'll call her The Bitch. Now, that's not a negative moniker at all. When I started working for The Bitch I was a soft, docile little thing when it came to business. A year later I was a formidable task-master who got what she wanted. All because of The Bitch. The day I had to tell The Bitch I was leaving was very hard. Not only was she my boss but one of my closest friends.

The Bitch is one of the only people who can put it to me straight and I don't get insulted. When I'm acting like a ninny she calls me on it. She values my opinion and she always listens to what I have to say before giving me her reply/opinion. She is also one of the only people I know, without a doubt, would have my back in any situation. From bail money to rescuing incriminating photographs, she's my girl.

So when I go back to Savannah I HAVE to see The Bitch. Being around her I laugh constantly. She and I just click, you know? Even though it's been over a year since I've seen her we get along like it's been a few days. There are few people who make me feel as comfortable and loved as she does. We have a date to float on the small creek (next to her gorgeous house) drinking vodka and lemonade. Now that's a vacation.

Going on Vacation!

2008-07-09T10:41:00.003-04:00

Woo-ha! Woo-ha! Me and the man need some time alone - no video games, no derby, no work. I am so excited about going back to Savannah and seeing my friends. It's going to be hot down there but I don't care, that's what the beach is for.

There's something about going home that soothes the soul. Everything is familiar yet I can notice the small changes that have taken place since I've been gone. The familiar food on the tongue, the familiar smells in the air - all right where I left them. But my evenings will be spent laughing over new stories. I can't WAIT!

I just wish we could take the dog with us. He, the cat, and the house will be taken care of while we're gone, but I really wish he could go with us. It would be hell for us and the dog if we trapped him in a car for 12 hours. I did it once with two cats and trust, once is enough.

I need a break from St. Louis. The flooding, the Im Bev hostile take-over, the friends with issues I can't solve, all of it is getting left behind. No more MetroLink, no more dumb-ass South county driving, no more fucking fireworks! July 4th is over, enough already!

So Ta, y'all. See you in a week.

M80s - 99, Stunt Devils - 53

2008-07-06T09:52:00.002-04:00

We kicked ass! I played in 6 jams. Ok, yeah, I got knocked down some but I also knocked a couple of girls on their ass. All in all it was a fantastic bout. At one point my girls Ana Warpath and Shanghai Lily were all by themselves but they still managed to hold four blockers and a jammer back. Bad asses!

I served one minute in the box. We kept our penalties down this bout. The Stunts were playing a solid game and we could have gotten a lot more penalties, but we kept our cool and adjusted our offense. Man, I love derby!

Our next bout is Aug. 2nd. I will get to play more in this bout. I'm sooooooo looking forward to it.

Feelin' Good

2008-07-02T11:17:00.003-04:00

I had some time to think on my way into work this morning so I started thinking about my life.

I'm in a good place. I have a wonderful husband, a good job, I'm involved in a sport I love (and I'm becoming a leader in as well). I have a great family and I couldn't ask for better friends. I'm healthy and I look great. I don't think there is one thing I would change right now.

There was a time long ago when all I could think about was surviving. My living situation sucked, I didn't have hope of a good future, and I was sick physically and mentally. I've come a long way. All the hardships and disappointments have brought me peace. Who knew?

The Link

2008-07-01T12:34:00.002-04:00

I refuse to pay for parking anymore at my job. They want $400 a year to park in a garage they take away from us whenever they damn well feel like it. The business school having a special event? Take away the parking. Summer school? Take away the parking.

As if that's not enough, the red parking passes ($1000+ a year) which are NEVER full keep taking over the yellow parking passes. Because 70+ empty spaces isn't enough, let's make it 90. Meanwhile we yellow pass people circle the parking lot again and again waiting for someone to leave.

So fuck it, I turned in my yellow pass and will be taking the Metrolink from now on. It will save some $$ on gas as well. This morning I learned I need to be there before 7:30 because the next train doesn't leave until 7:45. Besides, the cardio I get hoofing up the hill to my office is good for me. I just hope my car doesn't get broken into. Not that there is anything to take, but replacing a window is expensive.

What a Weekend!

2008-06-30T11:07:00.002-04:00

I had a very good weekend. On Friday I finally bought all the things I need to turn merchandise into less of a monster and more of a well-oiled machine. I know it sounds like a bore, but Friday night I spent inventorying and packing all our ARRG merch into my new carts. It was very exciting.

Saturday I finally got to sleep late. I went to a pool party hosted by the M80's Shanghai Lily. It was held at her sister's house, a gorgeous house with a really nice pool/deck area. We didn't actually get in the water as the sky couldn't make up it's mind if it wanted to rain or not. It was nice to get to sit back and chat with my team mates.

Sunday was a very busy day. ARRG was walking (er, skating) in the St. Louis Pride parade. It was the first parade I got to skate in. I parked close to the start of the parade and met my derby wife Doom and a few of the other girls before heading over to the meeting place. The sky couldn't make up it's mind yesterday, either. Rain? Sun? Wind? No wind? It was strange. I had bought this really cute red paper parasol to keep my lily white flesh out of the sun but I had to keep putting it away - is was paper. Oh well, I looked adorable without it anyway.

We waited forever for the parade to start. I felt like a celebrity. Everyone, both in the parade and spectators, stopped by to get a picture with us. Everyone was so nice and super supportive. It was the kind of atmosphere I wish we found everywhere. Happy people glad to be in a crowd of other happy people.

We had a group of Queens in beehives and bee costumes from the botanical society marching behind us, they were so cute! The parade is only 5 blocks long. We had a great time. Halfway through the sky opened up and let us have it. I expected to see the Ark at the end of the parade route.

I lost a toe stop so I had to jump in the truck our Garson was driving. Enya, who's recovering from knee surgery, and I sat in a nice dry truck as we watched our soggy little roller girls swim back to their cars. Afterwards we all went to Chimmichangas for monster margaritas and really good, really cheap Mexican food.

But that wasn't all. I was on TV last night! The Fan Show on Channel 11 is co-hosted by our very own Kurt LaBelle. Last night we showed up early so Magnum P.I.M.P. could jump over 7 of us in the parking lot. He did so with ease (nyuck, nyuck). Then we hung around for the show to start. Robbie Knievil, Evil's kid, was the guest. It was pretty nice. I wore my M80 uniform for the first time. I'm so proud!

I'm tired today but feel very good. I like being busy but I am really looking forward to our vacation the weekend after next. I need some me & hubby time!

St. Louis Cops are Getting on My Nerves!

2008-06-27T11:46:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I left the house extra early so I decided to take Hwy 55 into work. Usually at that time traffic is pretty sparse. However, yesterday some lady decided to take a nose dive off the highway and land her SUV head first onto First street. She died. The two kids with her were injured.

Now, I'm all sympathetic about some stupid lady probably talking on a cell phone taking herself out, but why the hell did the cops have to close 3 lanes of Hwy 55? The wreckage was on First St. There was no logical reason to filter four lanes of morning rush hour traffic into one. Not unless you count the cops egos needing that much space. Dumbasses.

Then last night after a grueling practice all I wanted to do was go to sleep. But oh no, a cop helicopter was looking for something and taking it's sweet-ass time in doing so. Around and around it circled our neighborhood, it's chopper blades just twirling and twirling. After 45 minutes I finally managed to get to sleep, I have no idea how long the fucker stayed up there. I hope the damn thing ran out of gas, but I didn't hear an explosion so I'm thinking no.

And cops wonder why we don't like them. It's bad enough I have to watch the cops in my neighborhood drive like a bunch of fucking maniacs knowing I can't do a damn thing about it, but now they have to fuck with my day in other ways? Bastards!

R.I.P. George Carlin

2008-06-23T09:12:00.002-04:00

Whaaaaaaa!

In other news:

I was rear-ended on Friday going to a friends house. No real damage was done to my car but it started making a horrible noise. A belt has been squealing on and off for some time, but this was worse. So I tell my husband and he says he'll take it out on Saturday and see what's what. Well, of 'course the car made no noise when he drove it. On Sunday when I went to practice it also remained silent. I was fine with it until my husband told me what his dad said about it.

"Sometimes when a person gets into an accident they develop a heightened sense of things."

Oh, ok, so it's all my imagination. Well, my imagination started acting up again on my way to work. I called my husband. He could hear it over the phone. Either we're both crazy or hey, there's something making a noise!

Men.

If You Think I"m Sexy

2008-06-20T09:46:00.002-04:00

Just run off the road to tell me.

Yesterday on the way home from work I stopped by the River Des Peres to take a photo of how high the water is. There is construction going on (surprise!) so I pulled over, parked, got out of the car, crossed the street and walked behind the construction barriers. I took my photos and turned around to cross the street to my car. A pick-up truck was coming so I stood by the side of the road to let him pass.

I was wearing a fitted black t-shirt and a black skirt. Nothing special. The dude in the truck ogled me, and kept ogling me as he passed me, causing him to swerve into the path of an oncoming car. He managed to tear his gaze away from me long enough to avoid a head-on collision.

Here's the best part. As I crossed the street I saw him adjusting his rear view mirror so he could get another look at me! Wow, what an ego boost. I've never nearly caused an accident before. If he had actually wrecked I think I would have crossed that fine line between confident and cocky, at least for the rest of the day.

I'm a M80!!!!

2008-06-18T11:29:00.002-04:00

The bout test last night was spectacular! I was really nervous when it started. We skated 3 20-minute periods. During the first period I jammed and it was pretty pathetic. I just don't have the agility yet to be able to jam properly (the jammer is the only player who scores points and it's her objective to get through the pack again and again). I blocked pretty well, at one point I took out 3, count them, 3 black team members with one hit. Oh yeah!

During the second period I jammed again and this time I was lead jammer! I scored points and stopped the other team from doing so. It was so much fun. From then on I stopped being nervous and just played. I was Pivot for a few jams (Pivot is in front of the pack and controls the speed of the pack, as well as being the last blocker a jammer has to get by - i.e., we hit the bitches last). I felt that I was really playing the game, it was so cool!

Before I knew it we were in the third period and I served my only penalty. Damn line, why must I cut thee? See, you're not allowed to go out of bounds to pass a player and, well, I did. So in the box I went. Then it was over and we were taking off our skates. The captains from each team began their pow-wow to discuss who they wanted to draft.

They told us we would all get calls today. So me and the rest of the draftees went to a bar to cool off and celebrate. One by one the phones began to ring. Nixxi Vixxen got the first call. She was an M80! I was really happy for her, but I was also sure the M80s were only drafting one person, so I was a bit sad as well. I went to the bathroom to wash the sweat and grim off my face when my phone rang.

"Hello?"
"Is this Suri O'Killer?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Um, yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"Oh. Well, that's ok."
"You're an M80!"
"You dirty bitch! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

My derby wife Danikka Doom is now a Stunt Devil. We go head-to-head on July 5th. This will be awkward. Usually when we practice if one of us goes down the other runs over to see if she's all right. We won't be able to do that during a bout. Oops.

My other wife, Buns N. Burn'er, is injured and was unable to skate. It was very disappointing for her and I hated the fact that she had to sit and watch the two of us skate and get drafted. I know she's happy for us, but damn, it's so unfair. She has worked so hard. But she'll get drafted in November for sure.

So now I have things to do! I have to buy new skates, get a uniform, get my name and number put on everything....I better get to work!

Bout Test TONIGHT!

2008-06-17T09:48:00.002-04:00

Tonight is the bout test. This is a "test" the veteran girls who are already on teams give to the rookies who are draft eligible. There is no pass/fail. After tonight the 6 team captains (2 Stunt Devils, 2 Smashies, and 2 M80s) will sit down and hash out who they want to draft to their team. There is no set number of girls they need to draft, it could be 2 or it could be 6.

I'm nervous and I'm not.

I'm nervous because I know all eyes will be on me. When I am out there scrimmaging I know I am going to be watched very closely on how I perform. Am I keeping up with the pack? Am I paying attention to my surroundings? Am I getting low and giving/taking hits? Am I communicating with my pack? How many penalties am I racking up?

I'm not nervous because this is what I've been doing for the last 6 months. There isn't any last-minute declaration of skill. I either have it down or I don't, one day isn't going to make a difference. I know what to do and I know how to do it, I just have to go out there and do my best.

Plus these girls are the ones who taught me everything I know. They know how I skate, my strengths and weaknesses, and my temperament. If they had to draft today based on my past performance they would know if I had it or not. That takes the pressure off a bit. I'm not performing in front of a bunch of strangers.

So tomorrow I could be on a team. Or, I could have to wait until the November draft. Either way - it will be over!

Ver Strange Mood Today

2008-06-16T13:42:00.003-04:00

I have a lot of shit going on.

I'm the Chair of our merchandise committee in derby, so I have merchandise strewn from one end of my house to another. I need to get it organized and stored as quickly as possible. Not an easy task. I've also had to ask the Board for $$ to make some purchases. In the long run these purchases will benefit us greatly, but I don't know how they'll respond. Fingers crossed.

As Chair I have a meeting to go to tonight after practice. All the other committee heads are going to get together and discuss what's what. Then Tuesday night I have a merch meeting with my committee before practice.

Tuesday's practice is my bout test. If I pass this test I can be drafted. If I'm drafted I could be skating as early as July 5th. Crap! Part of me looks forward to it, part of me wants to run and hide.

In addition to this I get to plan the ARRG float trip in August and help plan an event going on at the City Museum in July.

I'm a busy girl! After this week things will calm down, but damn, what a week it is going to be.

Me and the hubby are taking a much needed vacation in July. It's this thought that keeps me motivated.

Last week a co-worker's (well, she's been gone for years, but I still consider her a co-worker) son died in a motorcycle wreck. He was 29. The week before that a roller girl's boyfriend died, he was in his 20's as well. Both men have left behind children. This makes me very sad. On the other hand I know a couple of jerk-ass mother-fuckers who need to die. Life just isn't fair sometimes.

So I'm excited, cautious, stressed, and a bit sad all at the same time. It's a bit strange.

MySearch

2008-06-13T09:33:00.002-04:00

As a derby girl it is all about shameless promotion. As such I have a MySpace page and I've created a page on Tagged. My goal is to make local friends and get them to come to our derby bouts. I've browsed through a lot of photos and pages in order to build up my friends list and I've noticed a few things.

*Lots of men like dressing up in women's clothing. Honestly, there are lots of pictures of guys in everything from their grandmother's church dress to full-out corsets and fishnets. The thing is most of them are hideous! Jesus, if you're going to dress like a lady at least you could shave your legs and that hairy-ass back. Giving the butt a once over wouldn't hurt, either. And I don't even want to know why a grown man would allow himself to be photographed in a diaper.

*If you are a single guy looking to meet the ladies then perhaps you shouldn't put a photo of yourself hanging all over your ex-girlfriend. Just a thought.

*If you see a photo of a guys chest from the shoulders down and it cuts off just as the hair from his pubic region is in sight - he's gay. If not, he's pissed because he keeps getting hit on by gay men. Same goes with a picture of his butt.

*We ladies know when you've used a picture of a model for your "photo." 1) You only have one photo on your profile, and 2) we support the magazine industry. Not only do we know it's a model, but we can tell you which magazine it was in and what he was hawking. If you're that ugly or stupid delete your profile all together.

*All I have to say is - You know you're in prison! No one squats near a chain link fence wearing a wife-beater and blue pants for the hell of it.

*Again, if you are looking to meet ladies you shouldn't use a photo where you are a tiny speck against a massive background. Yes, the Grand Canyon is pretty, but who wants to get to know a black dot?

*Lastly, but unfortunately no leastly, we don't want to see your penis. There are specific sites for that kind of hook-up, trust. Holding it an an angle or having a cheesy smile on your face does you no favors. Log off, pedophile.

I'm so glad I'm married. If this is what the dating pool has to offer I really feel sorry for the single ladies. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good looking guys out there but one has to sift through the trolls and toads before one finds them. If I were single I'd stay the hell off the computer and go to a bar like the good ol' days.

The Anheuser-Busch Sale

2008-06-12T08:51:00.006-04:00

My husband lectured me this morning on why selling AB to a Belgian company is a good thing. I don't see it. But then I realized my husband is motivated by money. To him it's all about making that $46 Billion dollars.

Like the city of St. Louis is ever going to see any of that money. The shareholders will get that money. What I'm worried about is where are the profits going to go?

AB sponsors a lot of charities and non-profit organizations. These Belgians going to continue to contribute to those, or are they going to use the profits for their own interests? No one spends $46 Billion unless they think their going to get that money back. How are they going to get it back, what are they going to spend it on?

I'm worried about people losing their jobs, Hubby could give a shit. So what, a few people lose their jobs, happens all the time. I'd like you to know my husband has a pretty secure position with his company, he's never had to live under the threat of suddenly being unemployed. If so I think he'd sing a different tune, but like I said, my husband is motivated by money.

Belgium has national health care (thanks, Hillary, for giving up on that one). Are they going to pay the staggering health costs for this American company? Or are they going to bare-bone it and force thousands of AB employees to suffer shitty health insurance. Why do they care, they are in Belgium. They won't have to choose between paying their bills and paying their medical costs.

I think selling AB to a foreign company is a huge mistake. I don't see how it will help THIS country at all. And face it, we need all the help we can get. But I guess my husband would be happy living in a country owned and operated by others.

WIFE FOR SALE*

My husband stated today that everything has a price. So I guess I'm for sale, too. Forget the blood, sweat, and tears we've put into this relationship, forget the time it's taken us to become a couple instead of two individuals, oh no, name your price and I'm yours. That happy future we have together? Well, nothing brings happiness like money! So place your bids.

I am a healthy, disease free female who likes to cook and is great in the sack. I'm intelligent, hard working, humorous, and self-sufficient. I'm a moderately adept housekeeper but I don't garden nor do I take care of landscaping. I don't like kids and I refuse to take care of any. I come with a cat. I steal covers but I do laundry. I like to have my alone time so co-dependents need not bid.

C'mon, anyone?

*(For you fucking retards who can't detect sarcasm, I am actually not for sale. It's a shame I have to put a disclosure on this but there are a lot of stupid people out there.)

Drafting

2008-06-11T16:29:00.002-04:00

Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, we're having our ARRG derby draft next Tuesday. I have to skate my heart heart Tuesday night and then sit and wait (minutes, hours, days!) to find out if I made it on a team or not. C-R-A-P!

I think I've come a long way since my injury a few months ago. I try to improve with every practice. I listen to what everyone says (and it's a lot) and I filter their advice down to what I can use. No one can question my dedication to this league, but it's my talent that's going to make or break this draft.

All I can do is my best, but until then I am going to be on pins and needles.

President Fucktard

2008-06-11T09:13:00.001-04:00

I can't wait until this piece of shit is out of the White House.

Good Times

2008-06-10T12:24:00.003-04:00

I went to my first away game this weekend. The Arch Rival Roller Girls took on the Bomb Squad of Fort Wayne, Indiana. We lost the game 70-72.

Most of our girls spent anywhere from 7 - 10 hours in a car, didn't get any warm-up time, barely had time to stretch, were faced with a confusing and somewhat biased referee team, and they still only beat us by two points. When we meet them again on our turf we are going to kick their asses.

Due to the flooding in Indiana our 6 hour car ride turned into a 9 hour car ride. Mayor Francis Slayer was skating in the bout, if she didn't show up by 7pm she was going to be replaced. She drove 105 mph for the last hour. We screeched to a stop in front of the venue just as the announcers were presenting the players. She made it just in time!

It was a hectic night of hurry up and get things done. I was selling merch, I barely had my table set up before fans wanted to buy things. It all went by so fast. We took full advantage of the after party, let me tell you! I haven't drank that much in years. It was so much fun to be in a crowded bar and know well over half the people there. I'm sure there are photos coming that I am going to cringe when seeing (they had poles, that's all I'm saying), but it was a great time. The photo above is me and Hells LaBelle, one of our awesome announcers. It was his first away game as well.

The ride home took 7 1/2 hours. I really hate Indiana right now.

Barbarian, Board of Directors?

2008-06-04T11:10:00.002-04:00

I've been nominated for the Board of Directors for the derby league. I didn't know I was nominated until I was asked if I accepted. Wow! I don't know what to say, it's a big job. I accepted the nomination and voting started last night. I should know in a day or two if I'm a new Board member.

Last night was crazy at derby practice. We scrimmaged the whole three hours, and my body is paying for it. I tried my best. After the first 30 minutes I felt pretty down on myself. I wasn't performing to the best of my ability and I felt like I was letting my team down. I told them this and they all told me to go suck an egg. I was doing just fine and I needed to stop being such a perfectionist. That made me feel better, so I got out there after our break and tried to kick some ass. I did get a few good hits in, so there.

This weekend I am traveling to Fort Wayne, Indiana, for our first away game. It should be fun, I've never traveled to one of our away games before. Rooming with three other girls should be an interesting experience as well. Thank God it's only one night.

Ta.

We Are The Champions!

2008-06-02T10:29:00.001-04:00

Pink team won! The Rookie Rumble was awesome. The final score was 110- 106. We had to work for this one, boy! It was a spectacular night. I have never felt so alive. Winning was just the cherry on top for me. I made a few mistakes and took two trips to the penalty box, but hey, not bad considering I played for 60 minutes.

The after party was fun, but I was tired. Organizing the whole thing and being a Captain takes a lot out of a person. But it was so worth it.

Now I have thr bout test on June 17. What is the bout test? The veteran players wipe the floor with us newbies to see if we are draft worthy. They won't be taking it easy on us, you can be sure, so I have to get my shit together or be left behind.

Go Pink!!

Tomorrow is the Big Day

2008-05-30T11:54:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is the Rookie Rumble. I am so excited/nervous about it. As the organizer and Captain of the pink team I have been stressed to the max. Things are finally falling into place. I can be more of a skater now and not so much a slave-master.

I think my team has a pretty good chance at winning. We are organized, have been practicing non-stop, and have come up with many different strategies. I'm not saying the other team hasn't done these things, but I think my team is a bit more organized. No matter who wins I am proud of my team. We have been together for less than a month but we work so well together.

The only thing that bothers me is Buns is on the black team. If we win I will be very happy, but I will also have beaten my derby wife. I know how hard she works and it will be a bittersweet moment for me. I care so much for her and I know what she'll be feeling. If she wins, she knows how I will be feeling. It's nice. But it's gonna suck a little no matter what.

Last night as I was leaving practice my team gave me hugs and kisses. I was taken aback at first, but then I felt all warm and gooey inside. The only thing I've ever wanted to do with this team is be a good example, support them unconditionally, and give them the tools they need to better themselves out there on the rink. Last night I felt I had done my job. As a Captain one often takes a lot of shit. This I wasn't prepared for, but I think I've handled it pretty well. I've tried to keep my mouth shut (it tends to act on it's own a lot of times). I tell you what, though. I couldn't have done this alone. Doom, derby wife and the other Pink Captain, is a phenomenal person and she has been extraordinary in this role. She's only 24, in a couple of years she is going to be a superstar, you just watch.

I'll be kind of glad when this is all over and I can dedicate parts of my brain to things non-derby. We, hubby and I, are going to Savannah in July. We need to start saving up gas money now! I haven't written or created anything in the last few weeks. I have to dig a bunch of stuff up from the basement and I just haven't had the time/energy. Between derby and housework I only have time for sleep.

Wish me luck!

My Husband Does Not Beat Me

2008-05-27T13:27:00.002-04:00

I think I need a t-shirt with that on it. I have:

A big purple bruise on my right elbow
A bruise and several scrapes on my right arm
A healing bruise or two on my left arm
A big ol' ugly bruise on my right hip
A big ol' ugly bruise on my right buttock
My abs are sore
My hip bones are sore

This is all from derby, of 'course. We've been practicing for the Rookie Rumble and things are getting exciting (read - physical). Last night I took out one of our bigger girls (she's hard to take down, it was a proud moment) only to have her team mate land on me. That's what ground my hip bones into the floor. Doing 100 crunches and then 30 minutes of yoga on Sunday is what's made my abs sore. The bruises are just par for the coarse.

I've come a long way since my injury. A month ago I didn't think I had a snowballs chance in hell of being drafted to a team, but now I have a little hope. I make plenty of mistakes, but I'm learning from them.

Tonight we have a speed skating lesson. A retired Olympic speed skater is coming to our rink and giving us a good workout. I'm very excited, speed is something we all can improve on. All the fancy foot-work in the world doesn't do any good if you're behind everyone. No one can see you!

Sunday my team (Go Pink!) had a team bondage day. We worked out, then ate a healthy dinner, and then tied one on while playing games and rocking out with Rock Star! Some of the Black team members showed up for the second half. I was sitting on the floor, a beer between my legs because I had foolishly worn a skirt (thank god I had undies!) listening to one of my girls tell a story and I realized something.

I knew every person's name in that room. There had been laughs and tears shared with many of them. I had offered my support at times, and in turn they had supported me at times. I knew some better than others, but I would consider all of them my friend. We all formed a complicated mesh of personalities and humor, and I was a part of it. I wasn't looking in from the outside wishing I could be a part of it, I was a part of it. I am a part of it. It was a spectacular feeling.

All the bumps, the falls, the face an inch from a filthy floor, the wretched stench of unwashed wrist guards, the cursed words, and the agony of drill after drill after drill - worth it! The scrapes, bruises, and sore spots - worth it!

So I'll just get the shirt and be done with it.

Bastards!

2008-05-22T10:56:00.002-04:00

Someone vandalized Stonehenge!

This disgusts me to no end. Vandalize our modern buildings and artworks all you want, but to attack an ancient artifact is sacrilege in my eyes. Thousands of years. Those stones have been around for thousands of year and some piece of shit feels he has the right to take a chunk of it.

Enraged! Those stones survived the Druids, the Romans, the Danes, and the French. If our selfish, rotten society spawns demons who feel they can do whatever they want to our relics there won't be anything left for our children.

Only a sick, depraved individual would do such a thing. I hope they find these leeches and bring back public hangings. After they institute public beatings. Not since Christ carried his cross down the street would the public see such brutality! Skinning them alive would be too good for them.

Grrrrrrrrrr!

Ted Kennedy

2008-05-21T09:04:00.003-04:00

So, dear ol' Ted has a brain tumor. Wow. I never thought he would die from such a thing. I always suspected his liver would give out first. Drinking a gallon of vodka a day tends to put most people in an early grave.

When I was in high school my business law class put on a mock trial of the Chappaquiddick incident. For you youngins out there Ted went on a little drive around Martha's Garden when he was barely an adult. He had a passenger named Mary Jo Kopechne. His car went off a bridge and landed in the water. Ted walked away, Mary Jo was found the next day dead as a door nail.

We (my legal team, the defense) prepared for this trial for two months. We read everything we could get our hands on. This was BEFORE the internet, so we actually had to do some work. When the trial commenced my team tore the prosecution apart. Hey, we were good. Aside from getting an A+ in that class I learned something else.

Ted Kennedy is a lying sack of shit.

In my opinion he let that girl die, and his family helped cover it up. So the fact that he has a mass of cancer slowly eating his brain makes me pretty happy. Hey Ted, payback is a bitch!

Don't expect me to mourn when Teddy finally kicks the bucket. He's been living on borrowed time. If I were a religious person I would say his sins are coming back to haunt him. It's about damn time.

Frustrated

2008-05-20T11:59:00.004-04:00

Well, I'm beating, beating, beating a dead horse.
Telling it to wake up and get back on course.
- Suri O'Killer

My grandmother is in Alabama visiting my mom and dad. She has absolutely nothing to go back home to in Kentucky, yet she insists she can't stay longer than two weeks with my family. "I have bills to pay," she says. Yep, like those can't be paid from Alabama. I know getting online to pay bills would push my grandmother into an early grave, but the US Postal Service runs in all 50 states, bills in KY can be paid from AL.

But there is no convincing her. When she's made up her mind it's made, no matter how illogical or irrational it may be. I hope I'm never like that. I like to think I can adapt to change pretty quickly. I see what is best for me and I do it. It may not be easy, but in the end I'll know it's what's best. My grandmother is alone, doesn't drive, doesn't have any friends, and her son can't take care of her 24/7. Moving in with my mom and dad, or at least stying with them for more than two weeks, would be a good thing for her. But she's stubborn. So be it.

There's a New Dog in Town

2008-05-16T10:21:00.003-04:00

Actually, in my house. I'm dog sitting for Riddle Lynn, ARRG roller girl and Captain of the M80s. Cinnamon is a very cute, very sweet pooch with a very busy tail and a penchant for jumping. She and my baby Beo are getting along very well. The hubby picked her up last night from our derby practice, so I missed the initial homecoming, but when I did get home it was nothing but paws and noses.

Both of them like each other and settled in with my husband pretty quickly. Oh, but wait! When the new chick started to get a bit too close to Mommy Beo decided that was enough sharing. He nosed her out of the way and wouldn't let her come near me. Awwwww, such jealousy is heart-warming.

This morning they were bouncing around the house like they'd been paroled. I don't think I can handle two hyper dogs at one time. When it comes time for my kitty to go to the great litter box in the sky I think we'll get a nice mellow dog to complete the family unit. Maybe a bulldog or...well, what other dog out there is lazy? A hound dog? I don't know.

Last night hubby and I laid in bed talking about things. He asks, "I wonder if, when Beo snores, she'll get up and smack him?" I love you honey, even when I'm dog tired you can make me laugh.

Back to work...

Poop-tastic Day

2008-05-14T13:16:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning with the burning in my gut that could only signify one thing - it was going to be one of those days. I knew I'd be running to the bathroom all day because my body just CAN'T get rid of everything all at once. Oh no, that would be too easy.

At home and at work the problem isn't so bad. It's that damn drive in between. I knew exactly when my body would need to go - right around the time I was nowhere near a bathroom. That's right about halfway between work and home. So I did what I could at home and then raced to the car intending on breaking the record for fastest drive to work (just under 12 minutes).

Not to be. I found a cop on my ass the minute I left my neighborhood and that jerk-ass mother-fucker stayed on my ass until I got to work. Doing the speed limit with clenched butt-cheeks SUCKS. Let me just say that again, SUCKS!!

Never have I been in so much pain or so certain that I was going to shit my pants. At one point I wanted to flag the cop down so I could poop on him. Yep, that bad. I would have planted my feet firmly on the hood of his car, squatted, and given him an exclusive show of the morning shits. I would have gladly gone to jail if the cop had to drive with a big, brown smear drying on his hood.

Luckily it didn't come to that. I made it to work and put a hurting on the ladies restroom it will not soon forget. The good news is, four hours later, I feel loads better!

Bout #3 - Another Success

2008-05-11T13:30:00.002-04:00

The M80's whuped the Smashinistas 102 to 40 last night. If you missed it (and shame on you if you did!) it was an amazing bout. Unfortunately Jesse Cut-throat broke her arm during the second period. It's a part of derby, but my thoughts and prayers go out to her.

I'm so happy to be a part of derby. I have a circle of friends who I never thought in a million years I'd have. I'm a part of something so amazing I can't even describe it. I have more confidence and pride in myself and I'm stronger, physically and mentally. I have a whole new perspective on life. I no longer feel I am floating around aimlessly wondering what mark I am going to make.

I'm not a militant feminist but there is something about being around a group of focused, strong women that makes me feel I, as a woman, can do anything . I have no tolerance for bullshit. I am in charge of my fate and I love it. I am soft, curvy, tall, and beautiful; but don't be fooled. I have a solid core hard as marble. I wish I could share this feeling with everyone.

Our next bout is June 14. Be there!