Yarg

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Location: St. Louis, MO

Friday, June 05, 2009

Douchebaggery in Entertainment

If you know me you know I'm a sucker for Reality TV (the term reality is used loosely). Now, with the addition of Hulu.com, I can get my fix of horrible reality shows at work when we are slow.

So I was sucked into watching the latest installment of Get Me Out of Here, I'm a Celebrity. Among the rabble of B-list celebrities are Spencer and Heidi from MTV's The Hills.

Now, if you've ever been unfortunate enough to see The Hills you know what kind of boring, stupid, and immature program it was. I had MTV on once when I was sorting laundry. All the kids did during this show was sit around and talk. In a restaurant, at work, at a spa, just talk, talk, talk, and about stupid things, too. I'm so surprised this piece of shit lasted for more than one season. I now sort my laundry to XM radio, that's how dull and boring this thing was.

So apparently Spencer and Heidi were two of the main "stars" of this refuse. Now they are married and on GMOoHIaC. I have never seen a bigger whiner-baby than Spencer. Not only is he immature, but stupid. He proves it every time he opens his mouth. In the first day he and Heidi quit the show because they were, his words, "too famous to put up with this shit." Uh-huh. If you were "too" famous, you wouldn't have been asked to be on the show in the first place, you second-rate stand-in. But oh, wait, they came back. Joy.

On the second day they quit again. And then they came back again, but not before the other campers devided their stuff among them. When whiner-baby and his bride came back Spencer threw a fit of mythical proportions. He threw things, stomped his feet, yelled, bitched, and insulted everyone on the island before stomping off in a hissy. At this point I fast-forwarded the show, you can only take so much before it just becomes painful.

On the third installment whiner-baby and his bride have to face a challenge where they are in a dark room collecting stars. The room is full of snakes, bugs, bats, rats, and all sorts of icky things. Spencer manages to grab 2 stars in 5 minutes because he is too preoccupied screaming like a little girl. Heidi managed to grab 1, but with less squealing. After this little stunt they quit. Again. This time for real because, again, they are "too" famous to have to deal with this shit. Oh, and it was the most horrible thing he has ever had to go through in his life. He'll probably need therapy.

The thing that makes this so amusing to me is the fact whiner-baby and his bride claim to be devout Christains. Yeah, they prayed to God to help them through this ordeal just a few moments before he threatened everyone in the camp. Yeah, he's one of those. He's a lifting one hand to God while slapping you in the face with the other kind of Christian. It just figures the foulest, ugliest, most ill-tempered bastard on the show claims to have God on his side. I wonder how embarassed God is when a person like that claims such a thing? I know I'd throw a few lightening bolts his way....oh, wait, that's Zues.

Anyway, I'm so glad they finally quit for good, it was hurting my eyes and ears. I wonder how fast whiner-baby's star will fall now that he doesn't have The Hills anymore? See, in order to be truely "too" famous you have to have talent. And a good attitude doesn't hurt, no one wants to work with a stupid diva.

I'm wondering if whiner-baby could even go grocery shopping without having to 1) ask for help, or 2) threaten a stock boy with death when there are no more Fruit Loops on the shelf. Thankfully we won't be seeing much of him anymore. Oh, wait, we will when he's arrested for drunk driving and gets into a fight with the cops.

I can hear it now - "Do you know who I am? I'm f**king Spencer, I'm too famous to be arrested. Get your hands off me, you cock-sucking a**hole! You can't touch me! I'm Spencer! I'll kill you and your whole family. Oh, by the way, God bless you!"

Douche. Bag.

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