Dear Sarah Palin

Hi, honey. How are things in your small little world? I know your recent brush with reality must have been hard on you. Imagine, that nasty David Letterman using you to make a joke. What nerve! Just because you've opened yourself and your family up to media scrutiny doesn't mean he can just say whatever he wants. I know we have that pesky 1st amendment but it certainly doesn't apply to someone as pretty as you, right?

Just because you put your face all over the media after your failed attempt at politics doesn't mean he can make jokes about you. Just because every other person in the media gets the same attention doesn't mean you have to. You're to precious to be made fun of.

I mean, a contradictory hypocrite like you should get upset when someone takes your life and uses it for their own purposes. Just because you and the Republican party did the exact same thing when you were running for office doesn't give anyone else the right to do it. That was eons ago in the media world.

So just relax, pumpkin, and go back to that little fantasy world you live in where you can do anything you want to other people, but people should treat you with kid gloves. It must be a nice place, you've been living there for quite a while.