We're Rocking Now

Woooo, it sucks coming to work after having a great weekend. The Rib Fest was all it was cracked up to be. It was a bit cold and raining, but that did not stop me and Alissa from getting our bar-b-que on. We met so many nice people. Cameo and the Time played a great set. We danced, people laughed at us. My husband was kind enough to drop us off, and then pick us up. Good thing, we were in no shape to drive. Alissa spent the night and we got breakfast the next morning. Then I took a nap. It was a great day.

Sunday we finally saw Star Wars III. BIG SPOILER - IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FILM, DON'T READ THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH. I got a bit weepy that Darth Vader did everything for love. I knew Anakin got messed up, but geez! You get not only your one good arm cut off, but your legs as well. Then you catch on fire. Replacement parts are screwed into your bloody stumps with no painkillers, then you find out your wife died by your own hand. Talk about a bad day.

More bar-b-que that night. You'd think I wouldn't want any more ribs after Friday's food fest, but I ate with gusto. Too much, because I was up all night with a horrible case of heartburn. Monday we were supposed to go on a 34 mile ride, but both ends of my anatomy were screaming in pain, (shouldn't have ate those beans.) Hubby went by himself. I felt so guilty I cleaned the whole house, finished the laundry, and even put his clothes away for him. He came home, mumbled something about hills, and passed out on the living room floor. So glad I skipped that.

The Mrs. Universe pageant was on last night. Those of you with testosterone probably missed it. Here's a quick wrap-up specifically written for you:
The countries introduce themselves wearing the same dress. A lot of boobs.
They come out in their country costumes. Lots of leg, and lots of boobs.
They whittle the girls down to 15.
Evening gowns. Dominican Republic's dress was the most perfect dress I have ever seen. The cut, the fabric, the freaking ton of jewels sewn into it. White without being a bit virginal, it was breathtaking. Switzerland dress was stunning, too, if you like mermaids. I concentrated on the dresses until I saw USA walk on stage. What kind of brick did she have up her butt? She walked like she'd been raised by John Wayne and the Elephant Man. It was horrifying. Indonesia was hot enough to clear my mind. She took a big risk on her evening gown choice. It looked like Big Bird and Snuffaluffagus created it. Trinidad &Tobago was gorgeous in that mu-mu. Very tropic, good color. Israel looked like she had a tail, or a long, golden poop. Greece went the Lil' Kim route with half her dress being a pasty. Puerto Rico rocked in her S&M ensemble.
The Final Ten are announced. Girls cry. Girls squeal. Boobs jiggle.
Next up: Swimsuits.
They were hideous. The losers came out and did a little jiggly dance in flesh colored bikini's. The the big 10 come out. They got to wear sheer capes, but the suit was the same color as ugly. They pranced. They turned. Canada looks good in a bikini. Switzerland has legs to heaven. Latvia is just plain hot. USA, again with the cowboy walk, was turned up to high speed. Israel worked that shit like someone should get her a pole.
Final Five. Ha-ha, USA got the boot.
The final question. But first, a dedication to the Tsunami victims, please, a moment of silence. Then, Mexico, tell us what book you would recommend to someone? All five questions were trivial. All five contestants fumbled through them. More boobs.
Final walks. A run down of the winners many prizes. The old Universe takes her final walk. Canada is the winner! Jumps, boobs, jiggling, women hugging each other.
Credits.

Now, back to work.