It's That Time Again
The Barbarian is depressed. Always happens around this time of year, I'm not sure why. I'm feeling ignored and discarded by the husband again. World of Warcraft came out with a new expansion pack. I knew it was coming so it's not much of a surprise. My work load has dwindled so I find myself with lots of time, and derby is on break. and I've been sick for the last three weeks!
I don't know, I just start thinking about all the things I could be doing with my life. I go back over all the decisions I've made in my life and wonder if I've made the right choices. Should I have given the Peace Corps a try? What if I had traveled more when I was younger? What if I had gone to college instead of joining the work force so early? Who would I have met? What kind of adventures could I have had?
I don't regret my life, I want you to know that. But....there is this wonder. Did you ever see that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where Worf, the Klingon, falls into some sort of parallel universe and sees many different Worfs, all living the life he would have had if he'd made different choices. In one he was Captain. In one he was married to Deanna and had kids. In one he was an enemy of the Fleet.
I'd like to see that, just for a few moments. I imagine some of them would not be a surprise. Others, though...
I guess I'm feeling unproductive. I'm 36 years old, when I was younger I thought by now I'd be wealthy and successful, have traveled all over the world, and I'd have lots and lots of friends. I'd be married to a man who would do everything with me and we'd have lots of crazy adventures. I'd have a really nice car and a great home. My job would be unbeleivably satisfying. You know, the old song and dance about 1 billion of us want.
I haven't written anything in months. This bothers me. I sit in front of the computer and nothing wants to come out. I seek diversions to take my time, but it's always in the back of my mind. Hundreds of stories fighting for dominance, none of them getting the final bell. *sigh*
Changes are coming, I know. They always do. Good or bad, changes are coming.
I don't know, I just start thinking about all the things I could be doing with my life. I go back over all the decisions I've made in my life and wonder if I've made the right choices. Should I have given the Peace Corps a try? What if I had traveled more when I was younger? What if I had gone to college instead of joining the work force so early? Who would I have met? What kind of adventures could I have had?
I don't regret my life, I want you to know that. But....there is this wonder. Did you ever see that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where Worf, the Klingon, falls into some sort of parallel universe and sees many different Worfs, all living the life he would have had if he'd made different choices. In one he was Captain. In one he was married to Deanna and had kids. In one he was an enemy of the Fleet.
I'd like to see that, just for a few moments. I imagine some of them would not be a surprise. Others, though...
I guess I'm feeling unproductive. I'm 36 years old, when I was younger I thought by now I'd be wealthy and successful, have traveled all over the world, and I'd have lots and lots of friends. I'd be married to a man who would do everything with me and we'd have lots of crazy adventures. I'd have a really nice car and a great home. My job would be unbeleivably satisfying. You know, the old song and dance about 1 billion of us want.
I haven't written anything in months. This bothers me. I sit in front of the computer and nothing wants to come out. I seek diversions to take my time, but it's always in the back of my mind. Hundreds of stories fighting for dominance, none of them getting the final bell. *sigh*
Changes are coming, I know. They always do. Good or bad, changes are coming.
posted by Barbarian02003 | Thursday, November 20, 2008
1 Comments:
It's a strange thing when a woman makes a Star Trek reference when discussing the heavy issues of her life at the moment.
Sorry to hear you are feeling blue.
Creatively speaking, I certainly feel ya there. Sometimes you just have to pick and idea and run with it. Sometimes it will pleasantly surprise you and other times it will disappoint you enough to move on to the next idea. Easier said than done of course. Wish I could offer you something that was actually helpful.
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