It had to Happen...

Well, well, well, Michael Jackson was found not guilty. Notice I don't say innocent, just not guilty. His lawyer was quick to release a statement that his client would no longer be sleeping in the same bed as young boys. All I have to say to that is...DUH! Someone should have told him that after the first time. Oh no, we have to wait until the fourth time and then make a big circus out of it. Dumbasses. I'm just waiting for Jesus Juice to be sold in supermarkets across the country.

We went riding today. Every bicycle enthusiast told me this would happen. They said it was just a matter of time before it happened to me. Well, today that time came. I wiped out. I was riding in an unfamiliar part of Forest Park when I came around a curve too fast. I hit the wet grass and tried to stop, but that stop sign (with the big wooden post, not that skinny metal post) loomed up pretty fast. I could hit the pole with my bike, or jump from the bike and hope for the best.

I kind of hit the ground like a sideways snake: hip, shoulder, head. Thank god for that helmet. Ew, ick, wet grass. I popped up like a groundhog to see if anyone had witnessed my spectacular face-plant. Then I did a maintenance check to see if everything was in the right place. The chain came off my bike, so I spent the next three minutes trying to wrestle it back in place and cursing my husband for getting me into this is the first place. I don't like to get my hands dirty, and now they were covered in oil, so I used that anger to fuel the next five miles before I completely pooped out and went to the car. Luckily, my husband took me to breakfast afterwards, so all's well that ends well.

I'm not that sore, really. I guess I can thank Carmen Electra for that. I got her Strip Arobic's DVD the other day and have been thrusting my hips like a pro. I'm sure I don't look as graceful doing it as she does, things tend to jiggle when I wiggle. But hey, I'll be pole worthy before you know it and driving my husband out of his mind!