Took the Wrong Chance

I like Celine Dion. I do. I can't hear "My Heart Will Go On" without getting misty. However, I've seen a lot of Celine lately, you know, with her new album coming out and all, and I have to say this. Celine is tired.

First of all, I hate the new song Taking Chances. I'm going to sing high, I'm going to sing low, I'm going to warble and growl, I'm going to smooth it out. What the hell? The first time I heard it I thought it was someone else trying to sing like Celine Dion and failing miserably.

Then I saw her on Oprah and she kinda sucked. I chalked it up to a late flight from Vegas. She's closing out her show so the girl must be busy.

Then I saw her on Dancing with the Stars and it solidified my theory: Celine is tired. Her voice is tired, you could tell she was really reaching to sing notes that once had come so easily to her. Her voice has taken on a lot of gravel, and frankly her face looks like it's taken a beating as well. It's a good thing she's about to close her Vegas show, another year and she might not be able to sing at all.

When I hear the new song (and it's everywhere) I change the channel. Such a shame. What happened, Celine? Tell you what, go back to France with your husband and long-haired girly-son and lay around a bit. Get some sun. Eat something. Rest that voice. When you can be the diva we all grew to love jump back into action. Just whatever you do, do it now.