Decision Made

(First of all I'd like to thank my husband for being the most beautiful, patient, and loving man on the planet. You are perfect, baby, don't think otherwise.)

I am marble. I always have been and I will always be marble. I forgot a very simple rule of life...give anyone enough ammo and they will use it against you. Those close to you can misjudge your actions, and those who are closest to you will hurt you the most.

But that doesn't mean my core is marble. No, my core is something else entirely.

I was reminded this weekend of how very strong my core is. Why? Because I actually let a few people in. Those in there, in the deepest part, are my strength. My family. Those I can turn to when I need it, and those who are the loudest when I don't want to hear it.

As for the rest who managed to sneak past a few of my defenses, well...they're kicked out. I don't need them. I don't want them. Each one represents trust I gave misguided, happiness that was a lie. They were given a one-way ticket to I-Don't-Careville. Oh, on the outside I'll still be the same old Barbarian, but on the inside it's a different story. On the inside I'm hoping they'll wither away and die as dust. Charity is the currency of misery, and hell is a road paved with good intentions. My shell is marble, and it's just been reinforced.

Good things are on the horizon for me, I know it. One day I will move on to greener pastures and those who are not a part of me will be left behind...And I can't wait to do it!