The Saga Continues

Yesterday we were supposed to have our new air conditioner installed at the house. You may remember it got pushed back from last Saturday because the douche bag putting it in chipped his tooth. Well, now a friend has died and he has to go to Indiana for the funeral. I hate to be skeptical, but having a friend die is the oldest excuse in the book*.

I hate to begrudge a dead friend, if that's what really happened, but it's supposed to be 92 today. As the week progresses it will only get hotter. It's very hard for me to be sympathetic when I have to strip naked the moment I get home. I told myself I would do my aerobics on the days we don't ride. Yeah, right! Why don't I just cram myself into the oven and get it over with.

I feel sorry for my husband. I've put him in a bad spot. I was so angry last Friday when we got blown off the first time that I may have gone a bit overboard. Now my poor husband is walking on eggshells and that's not where I want him to be. I mean, I did get a nice dinner last night, but I don't want hubby to be afraid of me. I think Honey would have rather faced an army of angry skunks than call me with the bad news.

We've decided it would be best if I didn't have any contact with this guy. He may walk out of our house and never come back. See, my anger is guaranteed to be two things: quick and irrational.
The only thing faster is my tongue.

* Some of the best lame excuses I've heard:

"I thought it was Thursday."
"The bakery didn't have any fresh bagels."
"I couldn't get the gas cap off my car for two hours."
"We were cleaning the bathroom and mixed bleach with ammonia. The fumes made us pass out."



THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM OUT THERE

I saw some pictures today of the little Boy Scout that got lost. Y'know, the one who was found completely by accident by a single person looking around for him. He didn't look scared or happy at all. In fact, he looks like a spoiled brat who had his outdoor adventure cut short. He says he saw men on horseback looking for him, but he ran away from them because he was scared.

Uh-huh.

If he was lost in the woods for days, why would he be scared of men on horseback? Especially since he's 11? Because he knew he was doing something wrong. Experts on the case say it was very unusual for him to go up the mountain he got lost on. Most kids will go down, especially if there is a river nearby, which there was. No, this brat went up because he wanted to. He got lost because he wanted to. Until that complete stranger showed on the ATV and called 911, I'm sure he was having the time of his life.

Now, he has to explain himself to his mother and answer a lot of questions for authorities. He knows he'll never be more than 20 feet away from his mother again until he goes to college. I'm sure she's one of those overbearing wenches to begin with. Maybe that's why he was in such a hurry to get lost.

If my son were lost for four days and became such a sour puss after his rescue, I'd beat the living hell out of him.

Speaking of beating people...

The Runaway Bride needs to be institutionalized. In about ten years she'll become another Andrea Yates. If someone is craving that much attention, become an actor. I didn't waste my time watching her little interview last night, but all the ladies in my office did. Just hearing about her makes me want to puke.

A few famous movie quotes that I think sum up the Runaway Bride fiasco perfectly.
"Bitch, I have no sympathy for you."
"Bitch, you don't have a future."
"She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape."
"Yo! She-bitch! Let's go!!!"
"The bitch is toast."
"I found my inner bitch and ran with her."