Arg

My sister has the worst luck with answering machines and answering services. In the 15 or so years that she has been living on her own she has had the misfortune of owning the worst answering machines on the planet.

They never work. Well, they work sometimes, but sometimes they eat a message before she has had a chance to listen to them. It's amazing. Of the 20+ machines she has had, they all have the same problem. I think it's a conspiracy. Some little gnome is following her around and when she looks away from her shopping cart, it replaces a perfectly working answering machine with one of the magically selective ones. Now she has an answering service thingy on the phone and it does the same thing. My messages just *poof* disappear.

I think the same gnome is taking care of the people she lives with, too. Of all the different people she's lived with, not one of them could take a message. They have all been incapable of picking up a pencil and writing down two simple words, "Sister called." you'd think after the first two or three my sister would stop living with ignorant zombies who listen to her messages before she gets home, then forget about it in their forage for fresh flesh.

I've noticed that my "Thanks for calling me back, bitch!" messages always make it through, though. They somehow bypass the sucking vortex of emptiness that surrounds my sister's phone line. I guess I'll have to make all my messages sound angry.

My sister is just a hapless victim here. I wonder if there is a support group for people who get screwed over by their answering machines? Maybe there is some coven that can take the curse off my sister because obviously, somewhere, she pissed off a witch.