Noxious Fumes

What stinks more than the Bush family acting concerned about the raising oil prices?

My office.

I don't know if it was the cucumbers or the beer, but I'm killing myself over here. The silent one's are enough to make me worry that HAZMAT will show up. My pants may have a burn spot. At the least, the material unfortunate to be near the blast site is growing thin. My worst fear is one of my professors will come to visit just after a fart has escaped. How do you explain that? And trust, there will be no question as to what has occurred.

I read about a prisoner who died because he filled his isolation cell with his own methane. The window in my office doesn't open. I don't think the crack in the door is going to be enough air flow - I'm going to have to open it. God protect those walking through the hall. As the maker, I'm supposed to be immune, but I can barely type this as my eyes are melting out of my head. My nose hairs have been singed to nubs. I've even lost my appetite.

Help....meeeeeee.....