Trying to be a Better Person, Part 1

Yesterday I had issues. My office is located between two bathrooms. For one I have to go down a long hallway, through a lounge, and down another long hallway. For the other I have to go down a short hallway, climb a flight of stairs, then to the end of another short hallway.

So I'm sitting in my office when I suddenly feel the pressure of a Class A emergency poop coming on. I decided to forgo the stairs and instead race down the hallways toward the bathroom in another building. Now, I'm a big girl with long legs, I have no trouble covering a lot of ground in a short amount of time. My bowels are telling me to hurry or I'll have an embarrassing excuse to leave early.

I went through the door like Randy Moss and smacked the hell out of a student who had the misfortune of trying to exit at the same time. The door smacked her straight on her forehead. Her ponytails whipped back so fast I could hear the woosh. She staggered back and looked at me with a dazed "Wha happened?" look. I felt so bad, but the shock of nailing someone with the door did little to ease the pressure of my emergency. I shouted "I'm so sorr-aaaaaaaaay!" as I ran to the stall.

She wasn't still standing there when I finally came back out, but I'm sure I'd recognize her if I saw her again. She'll be the one with the big goose-egg on her forehead.