Teen Queens
First, I think it's about time someone told it like it is.
Second, I watched Ms. Teen USA last night because I just love cheesy programs like that. I like to see the evening gowns mostly. Last night took forever because they chose 15 contestants instead of 10. Then 10. Then 5. Then the winner. The program could have been cut an hour if they had 1) gotten rid of the horrible soap opera host, and 2) gotten rid of the badly synthesized dance routines.
Anyway, I don't think I'll be watching Ms. Teen USA anymore. The evening gowns were horrible. You're telling me those girls spend hundreds, nee, thousands on getting to the pageant and they can't cough up the dough for a final fitting? Tip: If something sags, puckers, or bunches, it doesn't fit. Ms. Illinois looked like she was wearing a blue potato sack with strategic holes cut into it.
That's not the reason I won't watch it again. These girls are too wholesome to be any fun. The sexiest thing they did was come out in the bathing suits. Now, Ms. Universe, there's a competition. Those ladies have assets and aren't afraid to show them off. You can see the bitch-claws just under the surface on some of those women. They also get to make cool state/country costumes. I love the costumes.
But the Latino beauty pageants put all of us to shame. I caught the Mrs. South America pageant one night on Spanish TV. Wooo! They had big boobs and big butts and weren't afraid to show them. They wore dresses that strippers would kill to have. I never knew mesh could be used in so many creative ways. They shook and shimmied down the runway with a purpose, none of that stiff smile/grimace while walking like a robot crap like on American TV. During the bathing suit segment some girls broke out into a Salsa. Word of the day: Cle-vage!
CoverGirl sponsored Ms. Teen USA, I guess that's why it was so boring. I wonder why there isn't a Ms. Slut USA? Can you see it? Instead of evening gowns, they'd have bondage wear. During the bathing suit segment they would have the option of being topless. Their final question could center around how many men they've slept with and how. Ron Jeremy and Howard Stern could be judges. The sponsors could be KY and Ted's Tattoo Parlor. I think that would make for very interesting TV. Yeah, then there could be a Ms. Universal Slut. I could be onto something here...
Second, I watched Ms. Teen USA last night because I just love cheesy programs like that. I like to see the evening gowns mostly. Last night took forever because they chose 15 contestants instead of 10. Then 10. Then 5. Then the winner. The program could have been cut an hour if they had 1) gotten rid of the horrible soap opera host, and 2) gotten rid of the badly synthesized dance routines.
Anyway, I don't think I'll be watching Ms. Teen USA anymore. The evening gowns were horrible. You're telling me those girls spend hundreds, nee, thousands on getting to the pageant and they can't cough up the dough for a final fitting? Tip: If something sags, puckers, or bunches, it doesn't fit. Ms. Illinois looked like she was wearing a blue potato sack with strategic holes cut into it.
That's not the reason I won't watch it again. These girls are too wholesome to be any fun. The sexiest thing they did was come out in the bathing suits. Now, Ms. Universe, there's a competition. Those ladies have assets and aren't afraid to show them off. You can see the bitch-claws just under the surface on some of those women. They also get to make cool state/country costumes. I love the costumes.
But the Latino beauty pageants put all of us to shame. I caught the Mrs. South America pageant one night on Spanish TV. Wooo! They had big boobs and big butts and weren't afraid to show them. They wore dresses that strippers would kill to have. I never knew mesh could be used in so many creative ways. They shook and shimmied down the runway with a purpose, none of that stiff smile/grimace while walking like a robot crap like on American TV. During the bathing suit segment some girls broke out into a Salsa. Word of the day: Cle-vage!
CoverGirl sponsored Ms. Teen USA, I guess that's why it was so boring. I wonder why there isn't a Ms. Slut USA? Can you see it? Instead of evening gowns, they'd have bondage wear. During the bathing suit segment they would have the option of being topless. Their final question could center around how many men they've slept with and how. Ron Jeremy and Howard Stern could be judges. The sponsors could be KY and Ted's Tattoo Parlor. I think that would make for very interesting TV. Yeah, then there could be a Ms. Universal Slut. I could be onto something here...
posted by Barbarian02003 | Tuesday, August 09, 2005
2 Comments:
Trust me, theres a pageant for anything you could want, the closest I can think of to what you were saying in that last part would be Miss Nude USA. Or Mrs. Nude USA, they have that, too...
No Mr. Nude USA? That's sexist!
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