Class

School has started and I am taking two classes this semester, Body Conditioning and Playwriting 101. My body conditioning class is not what I thought it would be. I thought it would be a little more vigorous, like an aerobics class, but instead we mostly roll around on the floor and stretch. This is a good thing because if we bounced around half the class would look like the dancing hippos in Fantasia.

I had my first playwriting class last night. The class consists of five people: moi, a 16-year-old high schooler, a 40-something mother and two men well past the age of 50. Our professor is a Hemmingway reject still attached to the bottle. This is going to be fun!

The 16-year-old, Perky, is from Ladu. Ladu is the area of St. Louis that has the highest house market value. Actually, Ladu is pretty much up there with Beverly Hills and the Hamptons. Rich people, usually spoiled and arrogant, flow freely from Ladu like diamonds on black velvet. The fact that Perky already knows what she wants to do at the tender age of 16 makes me want to hate her even more. But I can't...Yet.

The mother, Pinky (as she was head to toe pink last night) opened her mouth and out poured my mother-in-law. She even laughed and said "Um" just like my mother-in-law. Yet she looks absolutely nothing like her. It's hard for me to concentrate on what she is saying because I keep waiting for her to rip off the mask. It's very distracting.

G-man, the oldest of the old guys, is an accomplished actor and a very nice man. He's easy going and very creative so I look forward to spending time with him.

Then there is Ass-kisser. Ass-kisser is a banker from Ladu. He is the epitome of Ladu - wealthy, snotty, egotistical, and judgmental. He looked over our class and quickly dismissed all of us except for G-man. He knows who G-man is, so we spent two hours listening to him gush on and on about how wonderful G-man is.

"So, Ass-kisser, what do you think the writer is trying to say with this pantomime?"

"I don't know, but I just want to say how wonderful it is to be in the presence of such an accomplished actor. I really enjoy watching you work."

"Um, yeah, that's great. What about the pantomime?"

"I'm not a very imaginative man, not nearly as imaginative as G-man. Have I mentioned how wonderful he is? I really think he's wonderful."

You'd think a man with five children (two graduated from Harvard and one from Princeton, don't ya know) would be a little quicker on his feet. He couldn't answer one question so the Prof. Finally stopped asking him.

I think I will enjoy this class. We had to write a pantomime before we left class, I chose to write about a woman giving herself a bikini wax for the first time. I hope he likes it. I have to write a 5 minute silent movie act for next class. Hmmm, not exactly my generation. Maybe I'll cheat and watch the silent movie channel tonight.