I'm a M80!!!!

The bout test last night was spectacular! I was really nervous when it started. We skated 3 20-minute periods. During the first period I jammed and it was pretty pathetic. I just don't have the agility yet to be able to jam properly (the jammer is the only player who scores points and it's her objective to get through the pack again and again). I blocked pretty well, at one point I took out 3, count them, 3 black team members with one hit. Oh yeah!

During the second period I jammed again and this time I was lead jammer! I scored points and stopped the other team from doing so. It was so much fun. From then on I stopped being nervous and just played. I was Pivot for a few jams (Pivot is in front of the pack and controls the speed of the pack, as well as being the last blocker a jammer has to get by - i.e., we hit the bitches last). I felt that I was really playing the game, it was so cool!

Before I knew it we were in the third period and I served my only penalty. Damn line, why must I cut thee? See, you're not allowed to go out of bounds to pass a player and, well, I did. So in the box I went. Then it was over and we were taking off our skates. The captains from each team began their pow-wow to discuss who they wanted to draft.

They told us we would all get calls today. So me and the rest of the draftees went to a bar to cool off and celebrate. One by one the phones began to ring. Nixxi Vixxen got the first call. She was an M80! I was really happy for her, but I was also sure the M80s were only drafting one person, so I was a bit sad as well. I went to the bathroom to wash the sweat and grim off my face when my phone rang.

"Hello?"
"Is this Suri O'Killer?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Um, yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"Oh. Well, that's ok."
"You're an M80!"
"You dirty bitch! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

My derby wife Danikka Doom is now a Stunt Devil. We go head-to-head on July 5th. This will be awkward. Usually when we practice if one of us goes down the other runs over to see if she's all right. We won't be able to do that during a bout. Oops.

My other wife, Buns N. Burn'er, is injured and was unable to skate. It was very disappointing for her and I hated the fact that she had to sit and watch the two of us skate and get drafted. I know she's happy for us, but damn, it's so unfair. She has worked so hard. But she'll get drafted in November for sure.

So now I have things to do! I have to buy new skates, get a uniform, get my name and number put on everything....I better get to work!