Seek and Destroy
Saturday afternoon there is a knock on our door. My very best friend, Alissa, is standing there with the clothes on her back, her purse, and tears. Seems the butt-wheeming asshole jerk-faced piece of shit she lives with, M, kicked her out.
Some facts:
* the house they live in belongs to M
* the land they live on belongs to M's family
* M's mom and dad live on the property
* M and Alissa have a 2 year-old, AJ
M is a selfish, abusive, narcissistic, domineering, spoiled, stupid brat. He's 10 year's younger than Alissa and has the maturity level of a five year-old. What Alissa sees in him I will never know. She works hard at trying to make their relationship work and because of this she has lost pieces of herself. I fear she will never get them back. But finally, FINALLY, on Saturday she says she's tired of it all. She's tired of everything being her fault, of his abuse, and of the way he treats her. Something needs to change.
Yes, it does, but it won't be M.
Why should he change? He has everything he wants. His mommy coddles and spoils him, he doesn't have to pay for his home or the land, he has a girlfriend who does absolutely everything for him, including take the blame for everything that happens in his life. He doesn't take care of the house or his kid, he doesn't clean or do laundry or pay bills or cook food, he drinks like a fish, he bosses his girlfriend around and she puts up with it. Why would he go changing and get rid of a sweet deal like that?
Who is there to rub his nose in his big, steaming piles of shit? No one. Who stands up to him and tells him to stuff it when he's acting like a jerk? No one. Who asks him if he wants his diaper changed when he's acting like a baby? No one.
A man will only change if he wants to. If a man does not want to change, he will not. That's just the way it is. So again I ask, why should M change? He's got a good life. Yeah, he has to put up with the Missus bitching every once in a while, but that's a small price to pay for having a live-in slave.
Alissa wants her son to have a father. No matter what happens, AJ will always have a father. Just because they may not live in the same place does not mean that M won't be a part of AJ's life. And if M doesn't come around, then doesn't that mean he wasn't father material in the first place? If a man wants to be a father, there isn't anything that's going to stop him. Alissa should not have to give up her happiness in order for her son to have two parents.
Alissa loves him. It's glaringly obvious that M does not love her. If he did, how could he treat her this way? How could he kick the mother of his child out of her own house if he loved her so much? M's idea of love is "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" He's been trained by his mother that love equals control. The umbilical between those two hasn't been cut yet, and it's just one more problem Alissa has to face.
Simply put, M does not deserve her.
She wants to work things out. WHY? I fear for Alissa, I really do. I fear how much of her spirit is going to be killed in addition to how much has been killed off already? I fear for her heart, how many times can it be broken before enough is enough? I fear for her happiness, will she give it up for a fantasy that will never become reality? I fear for her life, because that bastard will kill her one day, and she'll be a walking zombie from then on. Inside I'm screaming, "What are you doing? Leave him, I beg you. Save yourself and your son and get the hell away from him!"
But, all I can do is treat her with the respect that she deserves, tell her she is an extraordinary woman, give her my love, and have hope that one day she will wake up and walk out. I stamp down my anger and keep my murderous fantasies to myself. I cry into my pillow and pray that she will be safe. It breaks my heart to see her in such pain, and the seething rage I have for M is thick, black, and greasy. But I will never leave her side, because she was there for me in my darkest hours. She can always count on me because that's what being a best friend is all about.
Some facts:
* the house they live in belongs to M
* the land they live on belongs to M's family
* M's mom and dad live on the property
* M and Alissa have a 2 year-old, AJ
M is a selfish, abusive, narcissistic, domineering, spoiled, stupid brat. He's 10 year's younger than Alissa and has the maturity level of a five year-old. What Alissa sees in him I will never know. She works hard at trying to make their relationship work and because of this she has lost pieces of herself. I fear she will never get them back. But finally, FINALLY, on Saturday she says she's tired of it all. She's tired of everything being her fault, of his abuse, and of the way he treats her. Something needs to change.
Yes, it does, but it won't be M.
Why should he change? He has everything he wants. His mommy coddles and spoils him, he doesn't have to pay for his home or the land, he has a girlfriend who does absolutely everything for him, including take the blame for everything that happens in his life. He doesn't take care of the house or his kid, he doesn't clean or do laundry or pay bills or cook food, he drinks like a fish, he bosses his girlfriend around and she puts up with it. Why would he go changing and get rid of a sweet deal like that?
Who is there to rub his nose in his big, steaming piles of shit? No one. Who stands up to him and tells him to stuff it when he's acting like a jerk? No one. Who asks him if he wants his diaper changed when he's acting like a baby? No one.
A man will only change if he wants to. If a man does not want to change, he will not. That's just the way it is. So again I ask, why should M change? He's got a good life. Yeah, he has to put up with the Missus bitching every once in a while, but that's a small price to pay for having a live-in slave.
Alissa wants her son to have a father. No matter what happens, AJ will always have a father. Just because they may not live in the same place does not mean that M won't be a part of AJ's life. And if M doesn't come around, then doesn't that mean he wasn't father material in the first place? If a man wants to be a father, there isn't anything that's going to stop him. Alissa should not have to give up her happiness in order for her son to have two parents.
Alissa loves him. It's glaringly obvious that M does not love her. If he did, how could he treat her this way? How could he kick the mother of his child out of her own house if he loved her so much? M's idea of love is "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" He's been trained by his mother that love equals control. The umbilical between those two hasn't been cut yet, and it's just one more problem Alissa has to face.
Simply put, M does not deserve her.
She wants to work things out. WHY? I fear for Alissa, I really do. I fear how much of her spirit is going to be killed in addition to how much has been killed off already? I fear for her heart, how many times can it be broken before enough is enough? I fear for her happiness, will she give it up for a fantasy that will never become reality? I fear for her life, because that bastard will kill her one day, and she'll be a walking zombie from then on. Inside I'm screaming, "What are you doing? Leave him, I beg you. Save yourself and your son and get the hell away from him!"
But, all I can do is treat her with the respect that she deserves, tell her she is an extraordinary woman, give her my love, and have hope that one day she will wake up and walk out. I stamp down my anger and keep my murderous fantasies to myself. I cry into my pillow and pray that she will be safe. It breaks my heart to see her in such pain, and the seething rage I have for M is thick, black, and greasy. But I will never leave her side, because she was there for me in my darkest hours. She can always count on me because that's what being a best friend is all about.
posted by Barbarian02003 | Monday, July 18, 2005
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