More Proof

Yet more proof that President Egghead is as clueless as a new born baby.

Honestly, does he even know there is a world outside?

President Egghead is at it again!

Yet more proof that our President is as clueless as they come.

"My family is in the oil business, and if there was a recession my family would be feeling it. My family is doing better than ever due to the insane gas prices, therefore I see no evidence that we are in a recession."

It's amazing to me how many people did NOT vote for Bush yet he still managed to get a second term. Curious, eh?

Don't Get Mad at Me 'Cuz You're a Slut

I was reading a blog from a person who is on MySpace. She complains about how her personal ad was rejected and deleted by Craig's List.

The ad was 7 sentences long. 4 of those sentences dealt with her physical attributes, one of them stating she loves physical contact and is dynamic in the sack.

She asked for opinions on why that ad may have been rejected. Don't ask for my honest opinion if you don't want it. First of all, she's looking for men on Craig's List. That smacks of desperation right there. Then she introduces herself by saying she loves sex and she's good at it. Um, sluts do that, 'kay? If she didn't want to come across as a slut she should have kept it to moonlight walks on the beach. Plus, PLUS she did not include a photo with her ad, so her bodily description could be a complete lie. That makes me think she might be an ugly slut.

If you don't want to hear what people have to say, don't put it up on MySpace and then ask for opinions. That is all.

The Lap Top Explodith!

Last weekend a cup of lemonade took out my laptop. I was very upset by this. Just ask my husband, who had the unfortunate pleasure of being there when it happened. Him saying, "C'mon, it's not a big deal" was enough to show him just how big of a deal it really was.

I suffered the heartache of losing my trusty laptop but the possibility of losing it's hard drive kept me from getting a good night's sleep. Finally, after agonizing over it and purchasing a new laptop, I am happy to report my old hard drive was a-ok. Whew! You have no idea the magnitude of shit fit I would have thrown had my hard drive been ruined as well. Let this be a lesson in backing up!!

I like my new laptop but y'know, it's just not my old one. It's bigger and faster but I miss the old one. It was my first laptop, given to me by my husband. I wasn't done with it yet. But life goes on...

Speaking of shit fits, we go to this restaurant named Gingham's a lot. Last weekend we went there for breakfast and as usual I had to poop right in the middle of my meal. So I go to the bathroom...wait, there's something you need to know about the women's potty in Gingham's. Whoever constructed it was a master of space usage. There are two stalls and a sink. There is just enough room in each stall to barely pull one's pants down. If I am alone, I pull down my pants and back in. I have to back in because there is just enough space between the toilet and the door for my knees. If I were any taller I'd have to wad up a handful of toilet paper before closing the door.

So I do my duty and I get up. I bang my head against the door when I bend over to buckle my belt. It hurt. So I go out to look in the mirror to see if a lump is forming.

This old woman comes in and goes to the stall.
"Oh, my. Well, someone thinks they are too good to flush the toilet."
Oh. My. God.
"Oh, I am so sorry. I forgot to do it." I cry. I go in and flush. Now, mind you, there was poo in there but it was on the light side, especially for me. There wasn't enough poop in there to be in a Will Farrell movie, you know? But I felt bad, so after flushing I apologize again.

This old bitch looks at me like I've just eaten baby-brains and I have a trail of gray matter down my chin. She actually cringes! She has to get past me to get in the stall, and she does so like touching me will give her the plague. She shuffles into the stall and then slams the door.

Now I didn't have to claim that, and I certainly didn't have to take care of it, and there was no obligation to apologize for it. I felt I'd sufficiently embarrassed myself. Her reaction was totally uncalled for, so when I left I shouted, "Jesus, lady, it's just a piece of shit. Get over it."

We Don't Need Tax Cuts

We need national health care. I love how this article mentions the high cost of health care, but that's all. They mention it.

Hmmmmm, how can we stimulate the economy and give our nation confidence? Hmmmmmm, I just don't know. We're paying out the ass for health care, something that is not regulated nearly enough, and most lower class families don't even have it, thus racking up huge hospital bills when they are unlucky enough to get hurt/sick, but we have NO IDEA how to stimulate the economy.

Uh-huh. Were the health care industries not so deeply entrenched in the pockets of our current and future politicians perhaps the answer wouldn't be so hard. How much money would families have if they didn't have to have health care? How many people wouldn't die or go into debt? How many houses would be saved, families be kept together, or jobs not lost if we, the people, weren't taking it up the ass on health care?

Am I the only one thinking this?

Barbarian Stock

Grrrr, you can't keep me down! We barbarians are made of sterner stuff! I do not have to have surgery on my knee.

I have a level II tear in my MCL, and the bones that keep the knee together are bruised. I have the next two weeks to stretch it out and get it up to speed while still wearing my knee brace. After that I go back to the doctor and we'll see where I go from there.

I want to be on skates in 4 weeks. I told my doctor this and he said, "We'll see." I know not to mess with knee injuries. I have to get this healed before I can skate, I know this. But I am so damn stubborn and impatient that I will work this knee and get what I want.

I am Barbarian, hear me roar!!!

Bird Dog

Often I have wondered how my precious little pooch survived the first three years of his life. He was held prisoner by freaks from a meth lab. Now I think I know.

Yesterday we let the dog out and I watched him as he tore into the corner of our property and proceeded to take down a turtle dove. There was nothing but a mass of flying feathers. Then my little hunter came prancing out of that corner with one of the doves clamped firmly in his jaw. He was very happy until the thing wiggled loose and flew up on the deck. Oh well, the dog just went back to the corner in search of another bird.

I managed to get him into the house and picked out what few feathers he still had stuck between his teeth. Hubby went to rescue the bird but it sort of flopped/flew off our property. The dog was very disappointed at this. That was his dinner fair and square.

The turtle doves have moved away from that corner. Who said birds were stupid?

Injured

I finally did it, I hurt myself. I've torn my MCL (Medial collateral ligament) in my left knee. I will be off skates for a few weeks and it BLOWS!!

Yesterday I was really depressed but I feel much better today. Watching derby practice last night wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. One of my Derby wives brought me a bottle of white wine to sip while I sat. Awwwwww! Derby wife, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Derby wives are girls who start at the same time and are usually friends when they start. They are closer to each other than the rest of the Derby girls. I'm not sure how the whole wife thing started, but there were three of us who joined around the same time and we've become the Fearsome Threesome (well, twosome until I get back on my skates). M is a rock star, she's going to be the poster girl for St. Louis derby. S works with me and got me into derby. S and I kind of decided we were each others wives because we act like an old married couple anyway. We're each others biggest support, but we're also the first to point out each others mistakes. That left M all alone, so S and I decided to make it a threesome.

You male readers take a moment to visualize that........you done?

So my wives are taking good care of me. Like I said I was pretty depressed yesterday but my mom called me and cheered me up. The way our relationship is now - I would never have guessed my mom and I could be so close. She called me yesterday and the first words out of her mouth, "How are you dealing with the depression?" Man, she knows me. Then Issy called and I felt much better after that call, too. Poor Issy has the flu.

I have my ortho appointment on Monday to find out what is going on, will I need surgery, and all that. I just want to know. Telling me I have a torn MCL doesn't explain anything. How bad? How long? Will I ever be the same? If you'll remember my husband broke his left knee about five or six years ago. He has been WONDERFUL!! I'm so lucky to have found and married that man. Anyway, he can't run the same now and I'm worried I'll never skate the same, but he also didn't go to therapy. I won't be skipping that detail.

I'm going to do anything and everything to get back on my skates. Stay tuned!

LOST

SPOILER: If you have not watched the last two new episodes of LOST you may want to skip this blog.

I'm a big fan of LOST. I've watched it since the first episode. I really like the show, it's well written, fast paced, and mysterious enough to keep everyone guessing. The season fanale last year was one of the greatest I've ever seen.

But, after having watched the last two episodes of this season I have one thing to say: LOST better start answering some fucking questions!!

When this season started I had many questions; how did Kate and Jack get back? Who else came back? Who was in that coffin? Did Clair and the baby get off the island? Who's boat is that? How did Neome know who Desmond was if that wasn't Penny's boat? Is Jack's father still alive? Who did Kate have to get back to? Why does Jack think they have to get back? What happened to Ben?

Many questions, and of those many are still unanswered. Oh, wait, we know who was one the boat now. Yeah, and LOST answered that question with the barest of answers. Who's on the boat? People looking for Ben.

Gee, thanks! So, um, why are they looking for Ben? Who are they? How did they know about him if he's been on that island since he was a boy? Where was that picture taken? How does Ben know them so well? Who's Ben's man on the boat, providing that's the truth. Who the hell is Miles? Why did they all freak out when flight 815 was found? How did the pilot manage to land that chopper? Why was he so hurt? Why was that chick wearing kevlar?

Yeah, an answer that spawns many questions is no answer at all.

Now I'm all for suspense and leading an audience along to the point they can't stand it. But you'd better have a big-ass pay-off when all's said and done. The producers of LOST should understand that an audince will only be dragged along so far. Once they begin to feel they will never have a pay-off for thier loyalty, that loyalthy drops pretty damn fast. I'm already tired of it. Every episode spawns 100 questions and answers 3. I don't like that. And I don't want to have to wait until the last fucking episode to have all the answers revealed at once. By then it won't be worth it. I won't care. Why? Because I don't like my entertainment to be frustrating. I get enough of that in my own life.

I'm giving it one more episode and then I'm done. Yep, done. We still don't have answers from the first damn season!! Um, black smoke anyone? Now we have more story lines than a face has wrinkles. If the next episode isn't satisfying I'm losing LOST.

My New Superpower

I have a unique ability most people do not have.

When my husband upgraded his satellite radio I got his old unit. I like it, I don't need anything fancy when I listen to the same five stations. But since my unit is older, and thus weaker, anyone with a stronger unit overpowers mine when we get close to each other. So I'll be listening to my station when all of the sudden I get to hear whatever it is they are listening to.

It used to annoy me, but now I find it very amusing. Last night I was on my way home when my radio cut out and "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayzee came through. I look around...the only person next to me is a cop! A big one, male, with the buzz cut and everything. I just started laughing. I've busted a hip-hop guy listening to Miley Cyrus, had a soccer-mom blaring Sesame Street, and even had an older couple listening to AC/DC. Sometimes I can't tell who's radio is overtaking mine. That's usually when I hear the most boring, annoying, or ear grating songs. Once I got stuck by a person listening to talk radio and try as I might I could not get out of the range. I nearly fell asleep at the wheel.

So if you have a strong satellite radio don't be so sure you can get away with listening to Barbara Streisand when you think no one can hear you.

What a weekend!

I had a very nice weekend. It started on Friday when I realized we'd been snowed in. The guys who scrape our street like to pile the snow right in front of my drive-way. Thanks, guys!

Friday was spent sleeping and worrying. Thursday night's derby practice had been canceled due to the weather. I had my skills test last night (Monday), I needed to get in a last practice. So Friday night I called up a few of the derby newbies and made a date to skate. Only M showed up but it was nice. I got my dodging practice in, that's for sure! Damn preteen punks....

Saturday was Mardi Gras! Some of you know I used to go to my friend Marilyn's house for Mardi Gras. After her death Mardi Gras has never been the same. This year, however, I was in the parade. That made a world of difference! We roller girls walked with the KSHE vans, throwing beads and giving the public a peek at our lusciousness. It was so much fun! Next year we derby girls are going to have our own float, that's all there is to it. The parade went by so fast, it only lasted a few minutes in my mind.

After the parade I went in search of Issy. I told her I'd see her at the parade - right! All I saw were heads and boobs, so I went to her friend's house and there she was. She looks great! She had a massive collection of beads, too. Them new puppies were working. I stumbled home around 4. My dear husband thought it would be a great idea to have White Castle....the house will never be the same.

Sunday was Superbowl. Oh, excuse me, Suuuuuuuuuuperboooooooooowl! I really didn't care who won when the game started. After it got going I started rooting for the Giants. I was so happy when they won. Suck that, Pats! We met my father-in-law's new girlfriend and she's a peach. I've never seen my FIL head over heals, it was nice. I found myself drinking again, how odd is that?

In the back of my mind hovered the skills test Monday night. Like a lurking butler it made itself known but just out of reach. Then Monday came and I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't really eat anything yesterday, my stomach had had enough from Sat. and Sun. Stress was the last straw, my stomach went on strike. I drank water like it was illegal all day and tried to relax. By the time 7pm rolled around I just wanted to get the damn thing over with.

My friend S was to take the test as well, but she found out yesterday she's torn a muscle in her knee and the doctor forbid her to skate. That was a bummer. But I soldiered on. First came the timed laps. I had to do 5 in under 1 minute. I did mine in 58 seconds. Then we set up the track for weaving and jumping. I didn't do too badly in those two areas, I could have gone a little faster but I didn't want to fall. Then we started the knee falls...

The object of knee falls is to be able to get up without using your hands. I can do this, just not very quickly. Last night I went a little too fast with the one knee falls and touched the ground twice. Damn. Then we had the two knee falls and I did all right, again not very quick but I didn't fall. Nope, I saved all my falling for the turn-around toe stops. Basically a turn-around toe stop is this: you go in one direction, you turn around, and you use your toe stops to stop. Sounds easy, right? Not for me! I flailed around like a fish out of water. It was really embarrassing. I recovered for our last event, pack skating. We had to skate around the rink in a pack keeping up with the lead person who was setting the pace. In that I rocked!

The 20 minutes between taking off my skates and getting my score was the longest 20 minutes of my life. Finally they told me I passed. There are some things I need to work on, obviously, but I passed. Oh, the relief!! I can stop eating, sleeping, and shitting skills test. Now I get to spend the next three months having the veterans knock me on my ass and beat the crap out of me. This ends when I take my bout test. After I pass the bout test I can be drafted to a team. I'm thinking in a good 5 - 6 months I'll finally be an official roller girl.

But I don't want to think about that right now. I want to bask in the glory of reaching my first goal.

My mom said an amazing thing to me. I called her Saturday and she said, "Don't worry about your skills test. When you work this hard for something you always come out on top." Wow, when a stranger says that it's just "eh, thanks," but my mom knows me, she's seen me pass and fail a lot of things. For her to say that was such a boost for me. I knew I could do it then. Thanks, mom.

So, now, back to work.