What a Weekend!

I had a very good weekend. On Friday I finally bought all the things I need to turn merchandise into less of a monster and more of a well-oiled machine. I know it sounds like a bore, but Friday night I spent inventorying and packing all our ARRG merch into my new carts. It was very exciting.

Saturday I finally got to sleep late. I went to a pool party hosted by the M80's Shanghai Lily. It was held at her sister's house, a gorgeous house with a really nice pool/deck area. We didn't actually get in the water as the sky couldn't make up it's mind if it wanted to rain or not. It was nice to get to sit back and chat with my team mates.

Sunday was a very busy day. ARRG was walking (er, skating) in the St. Louis Pride parade. It was the first parade I got to skate in. I parked close to the start of the parade and met my derby wife Doom and a few of the other girls before heading over to the meeting place. The sky couldn't make up it's mind yesterday, either. Rain? Sun? Wind? No wind? It was strange. I had bought this really cute red paper parasol to keep my lily white flesh out of the sun but I had to keep putting it away - is was paper. Oh well, I looked adorable without it anyway.

We waited forever for the parade to start. I felt like a celebrity. Everyone, both in the parade and spectators, stopped by to get a picture with us. Everyone was so nice and super supportive. It was the kind of atmosphere I wish we found everywhere. Happy people glad to be in a crowd of other happy people.

We had a group of Queens in beehives and bee costumes from the botanical society marching behind us, they were so cute! The parade is only 5 blocks long. We had a great time. Halfway through the sky opened up and let us have it. I expected to see the Ark at the end of the parade route.

I lost a toe stop so I had to jump in the truck our Garson was driving. Enya, who's recovering from knee surgery, and I sat in a nice dry truck as we watched our soggy little roller girls swim back to their cars. Afterwards we all went to Chimmichangas for monster margaritas and really good, really cheap Mexican food.

But that wasn't all. I was on TV last night! The Fan Show on Channel 11 is co-hosted by our very own Kurt LaBelle. Last night we showed up early so Magnum P.I.M.P. could jump over 7 of us in the parking lot. He did so with ease (nyuck, nyuck). Then we hung around for the show to start. Robbie Knievil, Evil's kid, was the guest. It was pretty nice. I wore my M80 uniform for the first time. I'm so proud!

I'm tired today but feel very good. I like being busy but I am really looking forward to our vacation the weekend after next. I need some me & hubby time!

St. Louis Cops are Getting on My Nerves!

Yesterday I left the house extra early so I decided to take Hwy 55 into work. Usually at that time traffic is pretty sparse. However, yesterday some lady decided to take a nose dive off the highway and land her SUV head first onto First street. She died. The two kids with her were injured.

Now, I'm all sympathetic about some stupid lady probably talking on a cell phone taking herself out, but why the hell did the cops have to close 3 lanes of Hwy 55? The wreckage was on First St. There was no logical reason to filter four lanes of morning rush hour traffic into one. Not unless you count the cops egos needing that much space. Dumbasses.

Then last night after a grueling practice all I wanted to do was go to sleep. But oh no, a cop helicopter was looking for something and taking it's sweet-ass time in doing so. Around and around it circled our neighborhood, it's chopper blades just twirling and twirling. After 45 minutes I finally managed to get to sleep, I have no idea how long the fucker stayed up there. I hope the damn thing ran out of gas, but I didn't hear an explosion so I'm thinking no.

And cops wonder why we don't like them. It's bad enough I have to watch the cops in my neighborhood drive like a bunch of fucking maniacs knowing I can't do a damn thing about it, but now they have to fuck with my day in other ways? Bastards!

R.I.P. George Carlin

Whaaaaaaa!

In other news:

I was rear-ended on Friday going to a friends house. No real damage was done to my car but it started making a horrible noise. A belt has been squealing on and off for some time, but this was worse. So I tell my husband and he says he'll take it out on Saturday and see what's what. Well, of 'course the car made no noise when he drove it. On Sunday when I went to practice it also remained silent. I was fine with it until my husband told me what his dad said about it.

"Sometimes when a person gets into an accident they develop a heightened sense of things."

Oh, ok, so it's all my imagination. Well, my imagination started acting up again on my way to work. I called my husband. He could hear it over the phone. Either we're both crazy or hey, there's something making a noise!

Men.

If You Think I"m Sexy

Just run off the road to tell me.

Yesterday on the way home from work I stopped by the River Des Peres to take a photo of how high the water is. There is construction going on (surprise!) so I pulled over, parked, got out of the car, crossed the street and walked behind the construction barriers. I took my photos and turned around to cross the street to my car. A pick-up truck was coming so I stood by the side of the road to let him pass.

I was wearing a fitted black t-shirt and a black skirt. Nothing special. The dude in the truck ogled me, and kept ogling me as he passed me, causing him to swerve into the path of an oncoming car. He managed to tear his gaze away from me long enough to avoid a head-on collision.

Here's the best part. As I crossed the street I saw him adjusting his rear view mirror so he could get another look at me! Wow, what an ego boost. I've never nearly caused an accident before. If he had actually wrecked I think I would have crossed that fine line between confident and cocky, at least for the rest of the day.

I'm a M80!!!!

The bout test last night was spectacular! I was really nervous when it started. We skated 3 20-minute periods. During the first period I jammed and it was pretty pathetic. I just don't have the agility yet to be able to jam properly (the jammer is the only player who scores points and it's her objective to get through the pack again and again). I blocked pretty well, at one point I took out 3, count them, 3 black team members with one hit. Oh yeah!

During the second period I jammed again and this time I was lead jammer! I scored points and stopped the other team from doing so. It was so much fun. From then on I stopped being nervous and just played. I was Pivot for a few jams (Pivot is in front of the pack and controls the speed of the pack, as well as being the last blocker a jammer has to get by - i.e., we hit the bitches last). I felt that I was really playing the game, it was so cool!

Before I knew it we were in the third period and I served my only penalty. Damn line, why must I cut thee? See, you're not allowed to go out of bounds to pass a player and, well, I did. So in the box I went. Then it was over and we were taking off our skates. The captains from each team began their pow-wow to discuss who they wanted to draft.

They told us we would all get calls today. So me and the rest of the draftees went to a bar to cool off and celebrate. One by one the phones began to ring. Nixxi Vixxen got the first call. She was an M80! I was really happy for her, but I was also sure the M80s were only drafting one person, so I was a bit sad as well. I went to the bathroom to wash the sweat and grim off my face when my phone rang.

"Hello?"
"Is this Suri O'Killer?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Um, yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"Oh. Well, that's ok."
"You're an M80!"
"You dirty bitch! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

My derby wife Danikka Doom is now a Stunt Devil. We go head-to-head on July 5th. This will be awkward. Usually when we practice if one of us goes down the other runs over to see if she's all right. We won't be able to do that during a bout. Oops.

My other wife, Buns N. Burn'er, is injured and was unable to skate. It was very disappointing for her and I hated the fact that she had to sit and watch the two of us skate and get drafted. I know she's happy for us, but damn, it's so unfair. She has worked so hard. But she'll get drafted in November for sure.

So now I have things to do! I have to buy new skates, get a uniform, get my name and number put on everything....I better get to work!

Bout Test TONIGHT!

Tonight is the bout test. This is a "test" the veteran girls who are already on teams give to the rookies who are draft eligible. There is no pass/fail. After tonight the 6 team captains (2 Stunt Devils, 2 Smashies, and 2 M80s) will sit down and hash out who they want to draft to their team. There is no set number of girls they need to draft, it could be 2 or it could be 6.

I'm nervous and I'm not.

I'm nervous because I know all eyes will be on me. When I am out there scrimmaging I know I am going to be watched very closely on how I perform. Am I keeping up with the pack? Am I paying attention to my surroundings? Am I getting low and giving/taking hits? Am I communicating with my pack? How many penalties am I racking up?

I'm not nervous because this is what I've been doing for the last 6 months. There isn't any last-minute declaration of skill. I either have it down or I don't, one day isn't going to make a difference. I know what to do and I know how to do it, I just have to go out there and do my best.

Plus these girls are the ones who taught me everything I know. They know how I skate, my strengths and weaknesses, and my temperament. If they had to draft today based on my past performance they would know if I had it or not. That takes the pressure off a bit. I'm not performing in front of a bunch of strangers.

So tomorrow I could be on a team. Or, I could have to wait until the November draft. Either way - it will be over!

Ver Strange Mood Today

I have a lot of shit going on.

I'm the Chair of our merchandise committee in derby, so I have merchandise strewn from one end of my house to another. I need to get it organized and stored as quickly as possible. Not an easy task. I've also had to ask the Board for $$ to make some purchases. In the long run these purchases will benefit us greatly, but I don't know how they'll respond. Fingers crossed.

As Chair I have a meeting to go to tonight after practice. All the other committee heads are going to get together and discuss what's what. Then Tuesday night I have a merch meeting with my committee before practice.

Tuesday's practice is my bout test. If I pass this test I can be drafted. If I'm drafted I could be skating as early as July 5th. Crap! Part of me looks forward to it, part of me wants to run and hide.

In addition to this I get to plan the ARRG float trip in August and help plan an event going on at the City Museum in July.

I'm a busy girl! After this week things will calm down, but damn, what a week it is going to be.

Me and the hubby are taking a much needed vacation in July. It's this thought that keeps me motivated.

Last week a co-worker's (well, she's been gone for years, but I still consider her a co-worker) son died in a motorcycle wreck. He was 29. The week before that a roller girl's boyfriend died, he was in his 20's as well. Both men have left behind children. This makes me very sad. On the other hand I know a couple of jerk-ass mother-fuckers who need to die. Life just isn't fair sometimes.

So I'm excited, cautious, stressed, and a bit sad all at the same time. It's a bit strange.

MySearch

As a derby girl it is all about shameless promotion. As such I have a MySpace page and I've created a page on Tagged. My goal is to make local friends and get them to come to our derby bouts. I've browsed through a lot of photos and pages in order to build up my friends list and I've noticed a few things.

*Lots of men like dressing up in women's clothing. Honestly, there are lots of pictures of guys in everything from their grandmother's church dress to full-out corsets and fishnets. The thing is most of them are hideous! Jesus, if you're going to dress like a lady at least you could shave your legs and that hairy-ass back. Giving the butt a once over wouldn't hurt, either. And I don't even want to know why a grown man would allow himself to be photographed in a diaper.

*If you are a single guy looking to meet the ladies then perhaps you shouldn't put a photo of yourself hanging all over your ex-girlfriend. Just a thought.

*If you see a photo of a guys chest from the shoulders down and it cuts off just as the hair from his pubic region is in sight - he's gay. If not, he's pissed because he keeps getting hit on by gay men. Same goes with a picture of his butt.

*We ladies know when you've used a picture of a model for your "photo." 1) You only have one photo on your profile, and 2) we support the magazine industry. Not only do we know it's a model, but we can tell you which magazine it was in and what he was hawking. If you're that ugly or stupid delete your profile all together.

*All I have to say is - You know you're in prison! No one squats near a chain link fence wearing a wife-beater and blue pants for the hell of it.

*Again, if you are looking to meet ladies you shouldn't use a photo where you are a tiny speck against a massive background. Yes, the Grand Canyon is pretty, but who wants to get to know a black dot?

*Lastly, but unfortunately no leastly, we don't want to see your penis. There are specific sites for that kind of hook-up, trust. Holding it an an angle or having a cheesy smile on your face does you no favors. Log off, pedophile.

I'm so glad I'm married. If this is what the dating pool has to offer I really feel sorry for the single ladies. Oh, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good looking guys out there but one has to sift through the trolls and toads before one finds them. If I were single I'd stay the hell off the computer and go to a bar like the good ol' days.

The Anheuser-Busch Sale

My husband lectured me this morning on why selling AB to a Belgian company is a good thing. I don't see it. But then I realized my husband is motivated by money. To him it's all about making that $46 Billion dollars.

Like the city of St. Louis is ever going to see any of that money. The shareholders will get that money. What I'm worried about is where are the profits going to go?

AB sponsors a lot of charities and non-profit organizations. These Belgians going to continue to contribute to those, or are they going to use the profits for their own interests? No one spends $46 Billion unless they think their going to get that money back. How are they going to get it back, what are they going to spend it on?

I'm worried about people losing their jobs, Hubby could give a shit. So what, a few people lose their jobs, happens all the time. I'd like you to know my husband has a pretty secure position with his company, he's never had to live under the threat of suddenly being unemployed. If so I think he'd sing a different tune, but like I said, my husband is motivated by money.

Belgium has national health care (thanks, Hillary, for giving up on that one). Are they going to pay the staggering health costs for this American company? Or are they going to bare-bone it and force thousands of AB employees to suffer shitty health insurance. Why do they care, they are in Belgium. They won't have to choose between paying their bills and paying their medical costs.

I think selling AB to a foreign company is a huge mistake. I don't see how it will help THIS country at all. And face it, we need all the help we can get. But I guess my husband would be happy living in a country owned and operated by others.

WIFE FOR SALE*

My husband stated today that everything has a price. So I guess I'm for sale, too. Forget the blood, sweat, and tears we've put into this relationship, forget the time it's taken us to become a couple instead of two individuals, oh no, name your price and I'm yours. That happy future we have together? Well, nothing brings happiness like money! So place your bids.

I am a healthy, disease free female who likes to cook and is great in the sack. I'm intelligent, hard working, humorous, and self-sufficient. I'm a moderately adept housekeeper but I don't garden nor do I take care of landscaping. I don't like kids and I refuse to take care of any. I come with a cat. I steal covers but I do laundry. I like to have my alone time so co-dependents need not bid.

C'mon, anyone?

*(For you fucking retards who can't detect sarcasm, I am actually not for sale. It's a shame I have to put a disclosure on this but there are a lot of stupid people out there.)

Drafting

Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, Oh gosh, we're having our ARRG derby draft next Tuesday. I have to skate my heart heart Tuesday night and then sit and wait (minutes, hours, days!) to find out if I made it on a team or not. C-R-A-P!

I think I've come a long way since my injury a few months ago. I try to improve with every practice. I listen to what everyone says (and it's a lot) and I filter their advice down to what I can use. No one can question my dedication to this league, but it's my talent that's going to make or break this draft.

All I can do is my best, but until then I am going to be on pins and needles.

President Fucktard

I can't wait until this piece of shit is out of the White House.

Good Times

I went to my first away game this weekend. The Arch Rival Roller Girls took on the Bomb Squad of Fort Wayne, Indiana. We lost the game 70-72.

Most of our girls spent anywhere from 7 - 10 hours in a car, didn't get any warm-up time, barely had time to stretch, were faced with a confusing and somewhat biased referee team, and they still only beat us by two points. When we meet them again on our turf we are going to kick their asses.

Due to the flooding in Indiana our 6 hour car ride turned into a 9 hour car ride. Mayor Francis Slayer was skating in the bout, if she didn't show up by 7pm she was going to be replaced. She drove 105 mph for the last hour. We screeched to a stop in front of the venue just as the announcers were presenting the players. She made it just in time!

It was a hectic night of hurry up and get things done. I was selling merch, I barely had my table set up before fans wanted to buy things. It all went by so fast. We took full advantage of the after party, let me tell you! I haven't drank that much in years. It was so much fun to be in a crowded bar and know well over half the people there. I'm sure there are photos coming that I am going to cringe when seeing (they had poles, that's all I'm saying), but it was a great time. The photo above is me and Hells LaBelle, one of our awesome announcers. It was his first away game as well.

The ride home took 7 1/2 hours. I really hate Indiana right now.

Barbarian, Board of Directors?

I've been nominated for the Board of Directors for the derby league. I didn't know I was nominated until I was asked if I accepted. Wow! I don't know what to say, it's a big job. I accepted the nomination and voting started last night. I should know in a day or two if I'm a new Board member.

Last night was crazy at derby practice. We scrimmaged the whole three hours, and my body is paying for it. I tried my best. After the first 30 minutes I felt pretty down on myself. I wasn't performing to the best of my ability and I felt like I was letting my team down. I told them this and they all told me to go suck an egg. I was doing just fine and I needed to stop being such a perfectionist. That made me feel better, so I got out there after our break and tried to kick some ass. I did get a few good hits in, so there.

This weekend I am traveling to Fort Wayne, Indiana, for our first away game. It should be fun, I've never traveled to one of our away games before. Rooming with three other girls should be an interesting experience as well. Thank God it's only one night.

Ta.

We Are The Champions!

Pink team won! The Rookie Rumble was awesome. The final score was 110- 106. We had to work for this one, boy! It was a spectacular night. I have never felt so alive. Winning was just the cherry on top for me. I made a few mistakes and took two trips to the penalty box, but hey, not bad considering I played for 60 minutes.

The after party was fun, but I was tired. Organizing the whole thing and being a Captain takes a lot out of a person. But it was so worth it.

Now I have thr bout test on June 17. What is the bout test? The veteran players wipe the floor with us newbies to see if we are draft worthy. They won't be taking it easy on us, you can be sure, so I have to get my shit together or be left behind.

Go Pink!!