Never Write in Anger

Last night I got home and thought I should delete my previous post. My friend who told me the story did so as a friend, not so I could rant on my blog about what a whore her friend is. Also, her son reads my blog and might be a bit offended by my words. But then I decided against it. This is me. That's how I felt. I was angry, still am. However, having thought about it a bit more there need to be some retractions.

I'm not glad Lizzy has herpes. It's a horrible ailment and she's a young girl who was just out to have fun. She should have been smarter about it, but there you go.

She is also not a slut or a whore because she went on vacation and had fun. If that is the prerequisite to being a slut or a whore than I myself fit into that category. She handled it wrong.

Crying rape was still a horrible thing to do and I hope she learns a very valuable lesson about telling lies. I still think she's morally bankrupt and I have no desire to meet her. Ever. But she is not my friend or my family member so I'm going to drop the matter right now.

Wolf! Wolf!

I just heard a story that literally makes my blood boil. There is a girl, we'll call her Elizabeth (I hate that name). Lizzy decides to go to California and while she's there she parties hard. Really hard. She ends up sleeping with a guy she barely knows and this man ends up giving her herpes.

She then spends two weeks with her boyfriend and passes on the gift that keeps on giving.

When she returns to St. Louis she takes ill and discovers the result of her free-for-all vacation. So what does she do? She cries rape.

Let me tell you something, it is hard enough for women who have been raped to get any sort of justice in this country without having to combat all the lying whores along the way. Rape is NOT an excuse, it is a crime. A major one. For a women to cry rape just so she can hide her lies is a slap to the face for those of us who've been there.

Rape changes a woman's life. Not just with the obvious lack of trust and paranoia, but inside. A woman questions herself and her actions, she tries to find a way she could have prevented it, she thinks that maybe it's her fault. Then she accepts the fact that she was a victim and with that comes all the anger and rage. She lashes out at anyone who gets too close, and as for men, Ha! She can't trust men and never will. She feels a pang of fear and anger when she sees anyone who resembles her rapist. Some have nightmares. Some become so afraid they barricade themselves in their own world for fear of getting hurt again. They change the way they view the world. They alter their behavior. Some finally learn to live with it or let go. I'm sad to say that some women never reach that point, they are forever trapped in a world of betrayal and guilt.

Elizabeth lied so her daddy and her boyfriend wouldn't know she was a slut. Well, doesn't that justify it? I mean, c'mon, she's attempting to ruin the life of an innocent man but that doesn't matter, right, because daddy will still think she's a little angel.

I wish I could get my hands on her because then the little bitch would know what it is to be violated. Crying false rape is one of the most selfish, immature, and heinous things a woman can do. Crying false rape should be a crime and the punishment should be severe.

I'm glad she has herpes. Her decision to sleep around will effect her future. She will think about that one night and her actions for the rest of her days and that, THAT is one thing she will have in common with true rape victims. She will never get away from it and I am GLAD.

To me a girl like her should be erased from the population. She's made it obvious she doesn't deserve to be here. She is human excrement. She is fouler than waste. She is a disappointing bag of flesh that needs to be flushed out. Should I ever meet her it will be my supreme pleasure to make it so.

Tuesday's Gone

So Karr was a bust on the JonBenet murder. What a surprise. Katrina victims are still crying racism. What a surprise. Another hurricane is headed toward Florida. What a surprise.

It's a wet day in St. Louis. I'm sick of being here. What a surprise.

Truth in Poetry

I heard a song the other day by an artist named Rihanna. It's an awful song, not just because it sounds like she's singing it out of her left nostril, but because she tries to put class with adultery. I didn't hear all the lyrics, but I think it goes a little something like this:

I spread open my legs
Every single day
But he keeps avoiding me
Sorrow to my core
Cause it seems that all I am
Is just a little whore

He's more than a man
But he can't understand
I like it up the ass
Really, really fast
I'm on my knees again
'Cuz this is who I am

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I will lay down on my back
For just any guy

Chorus:
I don't wanna be a whore no more
I don't wanna be the reason why
He has to cure one disease or more
Or he could die a little more inside
I don't wanna be a little whore
I don't wanna take away his life
But I'll never be
A faithful wife.

I think you get the picture. Let's be truthful, okay? I mean, c'mon, Nelly Furtado had the balls to name her album "Loose". There's some truthful advertising!

Great Moments In Bitchery!

This morning I had to get gas. The QT that I go to has four pumps. Along one side there are two lanes; the lane you park in to fill up your car and the lane you use to get out afterwards. Next to this is a high curb and grass, so there is no other way to get out.

For as long as I've lived here there have been stupid assholes (usually yard service assholes) who park in that far lane, making it impossible for cars to get in and out of the pumps. There is a whole damn parking lot more than big enough to fit their trucks and trailers, but oh no, these cocksuckers have to park in that lane. I have cursed these people before but today I got a little proactive.

"Thanks for blocking the lane, asshole"
"Suck me, bitch."
"Maybe if you had a dick, cunt."
Silence. That's right, I called a guy a cunt. It just slipped out.
"Fuck you." This from the fat companion coming back with two coffees.
"Go to hell, fat ass. Are you retarded? Huh? No, you know what, calling you a retard is an insult to retarded people. Even idiots are smarter than you. People like you shouldn't even be allowed to live. If I had a gun right now I'd shoot you. I'd shoot you in your face so that any poor sap unlucky enough to be related to you can't identify you. I'll spit on your grave. And when they put me in prison I'll write a letter to your family every day telling them I'm glad your dead. I'd spend the rest of my life happy that I erased your ugly, fat, stupid ass from this planet."

Fat man got in the truck and they pulled out without another word. Everyone else in the parking lot stared at me. Guess they've never seen a really pissed off bitch before. Well...they have now.

HA!

Suck on this! you pampased, self-righteous retards. I guess your pharmacists can get off their soap boxes now and get back to doing their jobs. Oooohhh, I bet you're so angry that the choice to take this pill has been yanked out of your ever-hateful control and landed in the lap of those who must decide.

BWA-HA-HA-HA!

I'm so glad this country has enough powerful people left to make right decisions every once in a while.

Maybe, just maybe this will be the small push that leads to a snowball from hell for pro-lifers. I am pro-choice. I do not like abortions and I myself would never have one, but I don't have the right to push my opinion on others. Did you hear that? NO ONE has the right to push their opinions on anyone else. The only one who matters is the one making the choice. Oh, you hate it don't you? CHOICE! CHOICE! CHOICE! CHOICE! CHOICE!

Proof at last!

I have thought (sometimes out loud) that some men hide behind the bible in an attempt to cover up the fact they are bigoted, racist, sexist, condescending, self-righteous assholes. Now I have proof.

You may want to take a very long, close look at what type of society allows men like this to not only breathe, but hold offices of importance. The scary part is there are people supporting this bastard.

Beat on the Brat

I went to a 15th birthday party for my best friend's daughter, B, this weekend. Alissa also brought her 3 year-old son, A, who had not taken a nap that day. Those of you who have kids know what that means - little asshole in the making!

A was a complete terror. Alissa did the best she could to keep him in check, but if that had been my kid his little ass would have glowed in the dark once I was done with him. Which leads me to this question, what happened to physical discipline?

When I was growing up my mom and dad did not hesitate to smack, spank, slap, or even kick us when we acted up. It was because of this that I made sure to behave in public. Oh, I resented them for it and had my fantasies of returning the favor, but I knew that once I crossed the line there would be hell to pay. So I kept a close eye on that line. What happened to that?

I'll tell you what happened, a bunch of nosey-ass busy-bodies got together and started calling the police when a parent smacked their kid, making those who don't fear physical discipline fear their over-reaction. There is a difference between discipline and abuse, but those stupid bitches failed to see it. So now we have to deal with all the screaming and running around because no one wants the DFS called on them. Thanks, whores!

It doesn't help that most parent's heads have been filled with bullshit about the importance of their child's feelings and how a spanking will cause them to need therapy when they are older. Oh, boo-hoo, Mama hit me with a stick when I threw a tantrum. Waaaa, I got a swat when I poured jelly all over the floor. What a load of crap. Here's my theory - Children are like animals, they understand fear and pain. When they do something and it results in pain, they learn to fear it and, if the pain continues, stop it all together. That's the simplicity, folks. Hurt them enough and they will stop what they are doing.

But, oh, I'm being so mean! I'm a horrible person! Maybe, but my kid would learn there are consequences to his actions. My kid would know that if he crossed the line there would be punishment. Oh sure, he still might act up and embarrass me but he'd also get the spanking of a lifetime once he got home. See if he'd do it again.

Just to clarify what a spanking is to me - no less than 10 licks. Yep, maybe even more if the offense was bad enough. I want his ass to hurt. I want him to cry. I want him to understand that I have control and that he will do as I say, not as he wants.

(How many people are calling DFS on me? Remember, I don't have kids, BWA HA HA!)

This is the point I hope to make. If your spankings are bad enough your kid will do anything to avoid them. You may only have to spank the kid one or two times to get the message across. Isn't that better than fighting the same battles day after day after day? Year after year after year?

See, when you're a big pussy and don't discipline your kid in a physical way that kid learns you're full of shit. They don't fear you, and thus they don't listen to you. What are you going to do, put them in time out? Take away their favorite toy? That works for, what, 2 minutes, then the kid goes right back to doing what he was doing before.

By the time I was 7 all my mom had to do was look at me funny and I'd behave because I knew what was coming next.

I'm positive this method works. Why? Because we got Beo a shock collar. He would not stop pulling on the leash when we took him for walks. We did everything we could to try and get him to stop. Nothing worked. We got the shock collar and low and behold one, ONE shock and he got the picture. If an animal can understand the concept, so can a kid.

And yes, I did feel bad shocking him (just as I would spanking my kid), but I spoil him enough (as would I my child), so I'm not losing any sleep over it.

Zoo Much Fun

This is the perfect example of what is wrong with society today.

People, wild animals are just that, WILD ANIMALS. Just because we trap them, ship them, and set them up in a zoo does not mean they are domesticated animals just hoping to entertain you and your kiddies. They are not going to deny thousands of years of instinct just because you might find it offensive. In fact, they could give a shit that you are there. Maybe the monkeys enjoy your company, but the rest do not. They don't even want to be there, I'm betting.

So don't get all riled up when wild animals act like wild animals, okay? Killing each other is something wild animals do. They don't follow the clock, either, they'll kill one of their own any damn time they please. It is not the zoo's responsibility to shield your children from the horror of a pecking order. In fact, if you don't want your child seeing animals act as animals why are you taking them to the zoo in the first place? If you want nice, trained animals, go to the circus.

These people were shocked, SHOCKED that a group of goats would attack one of their own. Why? Because we foolishly believe that if we give an animal a nice home, feed it, water it, and clean up it's poop, that said animal will do what we want it to, and that includes acting all nicy nice for the viewing public. We have convinced ourselves that since we have thumbs all other species will bow down to us. We think we can control them. And seeing as we don't go around actively killing the weak in our society (which I am all for, by the way) we can not fathom the animal mentality.

When we are proved wrong, we have no other recourse than to act shocked. What? What! Animals are animals? Oh no, who would have thought it. I'd like to point out that the parents could have taken this little girl away from the carnage at any time. But nooooo, they chose to stand there and watch the brutality. Who's to blame for that?

I think that little girl did learn a valuable lesson - If you can't take reality, stay home.

Slow News Day

Nothing much to say today except I can't believe someone confessed to the JonBenet Ramsey murder. I thought for sure it was her parents. I mean, they did handle the case wrong from the beginning and there was a lot of evidence pointing to them. Ten years, hard to fathom ten years has passed. Why the hell is he confessing now?

I'm still not buying it. Something seems off about this whole thing. Maybe I'm just being skeptical for no reason, but I really need to see some proof before I buy this guy's story.

Greetings All

Do you really think this was an accident? I'm telling you, the stress levels in St. Louis due to the constant and confusing construction is rising. People are starting to take aim.

I was just thinking to myself you know what the world needs? These times have been hard on all of us, the gas prices are up, moral is down, what can possibly cheer us up? I know, another Santa Clause movie!

We buried our friend S yesterday. It was a beautiful day and a lovely service. I hope now the healing process can begin.

You Better Recognize!

Saturday afternoon I went to my pharmacy to pick up some medication. I have so many meds that the staff there know me well. The tall blonde was working that day. I like her, she's pretty and always has a smile for me. So we talked about this and that and somehow I mentioned marriage. She asked if I was married, I said yes.

"How long?"
"It will be three years this Halloween."
"You got married on Halloween?"
"Yep."
"Is your husbands name ----------?"
"Yes, it is."
"I saw you on TV last night. I knew I knew you!"

Wow, it's only been a year and already my first post-TV recognition.

(For those of you who don't know, you can see 6.2 minutes of our wedding on a FOX Reality TV show called "America's Trashiest Weddings." It was not titled that when they taped our wedding, thus the 6.2 minutes. We're right in between the Hunter Party wedding and the Vegas Throw-down posing as a wedding.)

2006 Claims Another Victim

My best friend Alissa lives on 15 acres of land. On this land she lives with her boyfriend (in their house), with her mother- and father-in-law (in their own house), with her brother-in-law, S, and his wife, B. S & B have just completed their dream home not too far away from the farm. They had been living with the parents up until then.

Yesterday afternoon S lay down to take a nap and never woke up. The whole family is devastated. Alissa's boyfriend lost his other brother about 12 years ago. S was only 27. My heart goes out to all of them. I can't imagine what kind of pain they are experiencing.

I feel so helpless and useless. I am not that close with the family and some of you know how I feel about M, Alissa's boyfriend. However, my heart goes out to him. He and his family don't deserve this. They are nice people and were such a close family.

Alissa is strong and will help them get through this. They will get through it, they are salt-of-the-earth people. S was a good man, he will be missed.

Code Red! Code Red!

Already this morning I have heard two people say they are not going to fly anywhere ever again and read that stocks in airlines are starting to fall all due to the 21 people arrested in Great Britain with liquid explosives. If you haven't heard anything about this, turn on any news channel or go to any news web site.

Lets get two things straight: 1) the planes were in Great Britain. Flying around in the US is just as safe/unsafe today as it was three weeks ago. These terrorists were not here, get it? They were over there. So staying away from airports in the US is just plain stupid. I could understand if the people carrying the bombs left from here, BUT THEY DIDN'T. So get a grip. 2) They were stopped, okay, so the chance of anything going boom anytime soon is diminished. It doesn't make sense to lose confidence in the airline systems when clearly, CLEARLY, something worked or the plot would not have been discovered. It was foiled, people, foiled. Oh yeah, they will try again, but I seriously doubt it will be today.

America - the land of jumping to conclusions.

Happy Birthday Curt

Today is my cousin's birthday. He's a great guy; big, strong, and very intelligent. He loves his family and friends and is a loyal, attentive son and grandson. A bit on the quiet side, Curt is one who will give it to you straight and not pull any punches if the need arises. He loved his girlfriend with all his heart and had made a solid foundation for the life he wanted to build with her.

Curt died in 2000. We miss you, babe.

It's been so hot our dog deflated. 

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Introducing my friend's new blog - Issy's Room. Please feel free to check it out.

The End of an Era

My husband told me something last night that I sincerely hope is true. He said the film industry will be slashing actor salaries. They appear to be losing too much money in these days and times. The days of $20 million for a film are over.

I certainly hope so.

This is how I feel about actors and actresses: they get paid a ridiculous amount of money to pretend to be other people. They are professional liars. Why the hell do they get paid so much money? They aren't curing cancer or replacing the hole in the ozone. Not only do they get paid waaaaay too much, people send them free stuff all the time and the rest of the world treats them like royalty.

WHY?

When the Titanic sank most of the actors were in third class. Why? Because being an actor in that day meant you were too lazy to get a real job. They were looked down upon, even viewed as disappointments to their families. Some were famous, I'm not saying they weren't, but most were viewed unfavorable. It wasn't until the 1920's when mobs took over and started hanging out with stars in Vegas that being an actor became something of a status symbol. Today star worshiping is so far over the top that it's hard to believe sometimes.

These days actors think that because they made a film about politics they are politicians. They actually think their opinions matter in all facets of the globe. I'm sorry, but lending your name to a cause is not helping that cause at all. Why can't more actors be like Bill Gates and donate a huge chunk of money to take care of those less fortunate then themselves? Why aren't these actors going back to their high schools or communities and helping them?

Here in St. Louis Nelly is a God. Not just because he is famous, but because he built community center after community center in his old hood. He's opened a restaurant here that spotlights local talent. He has given back to all the people that helped him get to the top. Why is that so rare?

Because, ladies and gentlemen, actors (and stars) are human, and being human they have turned selfish. They lavish themselves with cars, houses, jewelry, and people and act like they've worked so hard to deserve it.

And it's our fault, too. We took our entertainers and put them on this pedestal. We flock to see them and scream out their names. We act as if we've seen Jesus when we meet them in person. We try to imitate their styles, dress, and attitude. We buy up all the magazines and books that have anything to do with them. We pay outrageous prices to see them. We ignore the important issues in our lives because actors take those worries away.

It needs to stop.

Memories...again.

I remembered something last night from my past. When I was a little girl we lived in Arizona in base housing. Base housing, for all you non-military people, are military ghettos. Not as bad as real ghettos, but you get the idea. A family of girls used to babysit us all the time.

This family had a thing for D's. The girls were named Dode, Deslee, Dee-dee, Denny, Dory, and Diana. Deslee is the one who babysat us the most. She was probably 17 or 18 at the time, but I thought she was a goddess from the heavens above. She had long light brown hair and was always dressed really nice. One day she told us that she had a date that night.

Being 6 or 7 at the time, I thought that going on a date was the equivilant of Cinderella going to the ball. I thought she'd want to dress up. Part of dressing up was smelling good, right? I went into my secret beauty stash and pulled out my best, most prettiest tube of rub on perfume (they were really popular in the 70's. Think chapstick of smell). I asked her if I could comb her hair for her date. She said yes. So I rubbed my perfume-stick on the comb and combed her hair. I did this again, and again, and again, and again.

Until she said, "What's that smell?"

Deslee then did something almost forbidden, down right taboo - she took a shower in our bathroom! She wasn't mad, but I was heart broken. My bestest tube of perfume wasted. She didn't even tell us how the date went the next time she came over.

Road to hell, folks, road to hell.

Free Your Mind, Fear Theirs

What is wrong with you people? Just what kind of proof do you need to pull your head out of your ass and start thinking for yourselves? There were no WMD, get it? None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Kind of like how much brains you have left in your head.

I wrote about this almost a year ago (I'm too lazy to go and find it). It's taken the experts this long to figure out that a little chip that is easily read and carries all your information can be corrupted? Copied? Oh my! I thought these people had to have degrees. I told you this was trouble a year ago and I only have a high school education. What's wrong with the current passports, hmmm? I'll tell you what this is, this is the mostly male desire that when you have new technology you have to put it in everything you possibly can, whether it's a smart idea or not. Nothing is wrong with the way passports work, leave them the hell alone.

It cost $44 to fill my tank this morning. Someone is going to pay for this. I certainly hope that once President Egghead is out of office he hides in a very deep, very well-hidden hole. Just like Saddam. And like Saddam I hope he find himself in front of a courtroom where everyone in it wants him dead.

It's Friday!

Hollywood has no more original ideas. I just saw a trailer for A Good Year, a flick with Russell Crowe. Hmmm, that looks familiar...Oh yes, it's Under A Tuscan Sun but with a man! How original, did it take them all day to think that up?

And why do we have to have so many damn sequels? You remember Bruce Almighty? Yeah, Almighty 2 is in the works. Rambo 4 starts filming in October. Rocky Balboa will be released soon (what number would that be? Rocky 34?). Why is it every time a film does well the studios think, "We need to make 5 more of these!" Hostel did okay, let's make Hostel 2! Saw 3 will be out soon, and let's not forget another Batman movie, (Heath Ledger is far to young to play Joker, I can only assume this is a preview of how badly this movie will suck. They should have left it with Batman Begins). I'm so tired of sequels. Well, except for the Harry Potter movies, but those aren't really sequels.

Hollywood has gotten lazy. Instead of coming up with fresh ideas, they just rehash old ones. The only intriguing trailer I've seen lately is for Children of Men. This looks good. How long until they start filming Children of Men II?

From the "You Can't Make This Stuff Up" files: Bzzzz!

Carny folk, small hands. How, oh how, can a person not be charged with something when they make a mistake that causes harm and/or death to another person? A few weeks ago I read about a man who killed a woman at a McDonald's drive-through because he didn't see her when he took off. He killed her right on front of her husband and two children, yet there weren't any charges! How can this be? Can we make stupidity a crime?

Trust - A Poll

Alissa and I were having a conversation yesterday about trust. More to the point, about not trusting those who have hurt you in the past. Alissa and I are of the ilk that when you give your trust to someone and they break it, th-th-tha-that-that's all folks. Alissa has been told that is a horrible way to live.

I disagree.

Trust is a very important thing. When you give someone your trust your giving them the power to hurt you. When they abuse that power it is damaging. Why should you give them another chance to hurt you? Trust is owned by you, it's your discretion to give it out as you see fit.

You don't have to trust someone you're friends with. You don't have to trust someone you love. You know your own limitations and eventually you will know theirs.

For example: Say you have someone in your family that always owes you money, but never manages to cough any up. You love this person and would do anything for them, but there will be no more I.O.U's. Why? Because you can't trust them to pay you back.

Here's another: Say you have a friend that you share your secrets with. One day you find out that this friend is going around telling everyone what you're saying. Are you going to keep telling that person your secrets? You'd be a fool if you did. In my world those conversations would become guarded. The friendship might not end, but the secret-sharing would.

Alissa and I are not proponents of that whole "forgive and forget" thing. In fact, I feel people who constantly forgive and forget are suckers. One thing I will not tolerate is being taken advantage of. If you break my trust, you have to earn it back. I'm not a bitch about it, but I have my little rolodex of unforgettable instances tucked away in the back of my mind.

What do you think?

Tid Bits

Just a few things rattling around in my brain:

*Just because Mel Gibson made a movie about God does not make him a god. He is more than capable of making mistakes and being a big, fat racist like the rest of us. Apparently, he's a big booze hound, too.

*Speaking of God, I stumbled upon a video of Stephen Hawkings talking about civilization and where we are headed. I couldn't access the video but I did read some of the comments. Apparently Dr. Hawkings' opinion of man were less than favorable and he thinks we're all doing to die soon. There are those who feel we have messed up this planet enough, those that feel we haven't, and then I found this little nugget, "God will control history, just as he always has, so why worry?"

Um, I don't know if you're aware of this, but Christianity is one of the newer religions, relatively speaking. So how can God control a history he hasn't been a big part of? Oh yes, when this world of man started God wasn't a part of it, and he wasn't a part of it for a very long time. So...I guess he just wanted to be fashionably late? Make an entrance? I just don't think the fate of the world rests on his imaginary shoulders. Polar bears are cannibalizing each other because the weather changes have taken away their main food source. Is this God's doing? God thinks its okay to be a cannibal?

After seeing the spelling errors, the grammatical errors, the use of horrible language and some things I'm not even sure how to describe on that message board I say civilization can't end soon enough. Funny thing about nature, once you remove man it starts to grow back. Take a look at any abandoned building or parking lot and you'll see what I mean. If we were eradicated this planet would become the lush paradise it once was. We're the devils, people, and it has nothing to do with God.

It's amazing how many people don't think their actions effect this planet. So the ice caps are melting, so what? As long as the Cowboys win the Superbowl I'll be all right. (Yes, that was actually on there!) I guess these are the same people who buy a SUV with a 40 gallon tank and can't understand why we have a gas crises. Or the same people who throw their trash out the window and complain about the roads being so dirty.

*The smoking ban was once again dropped in St. Louis. Idiots.

*I don't know if you've heard about the breast feeding controversy. Apparently some magazine showed a baby sucking off a boob on the cover and everyone is in an uproar. There are two sides: the side who feels breast feeding is natural and beautiful and should be appreciated by everyone, and the side that's sick of seeing boobs whipped out all over the place. Here is my opinion. Masturbating doesn't hurt anyone, and it doesn't involve anyone but the masturbater, yet you don't see people doing that out in public. I think breast feeding is a private act that should be limited to restrooms, cars, and other secluded places outside the home. I don't want to see it, to me it's gross. I can't expose my breasts in public, just because you have a baby doesn't mean you should. There are things in life that aren't meant to be shared. Why would you want a bunch of strangers looking at your boob in the first place?

*I have to share this. I'm driving to work when I see a lady walking down the sidewalk trip and fall. I mean, she ate it! Her legs went up over her head and everything. She probably left a dent. She popped right back up, though, you gotta give her that. I burst out laughing. Was this wrong?

*It's a girl!

Let's talk about...

Stupidity.

It is 95 degrees right now with a heat index of about 104. It's hot. Crotch sweating, hair chopping, wanna-roll-in-ice hot. I had to walk the equivalent of two small blocks to get to the cafeteria today and halfway through I decided I didn't need to eat that badly. I manage to make it in and got my little fruit cup. I'm heading back out and what do I see?

A big fat man wearing a jean jacket.

Oh yeah, right out of the 80's complete with metal buttons and all. Underneath was a maroon button down shirt that was buttoned all the way to the collar. I'm not trying to be mean by saying this guy was fat, he was just fat. Fat people don't like heat. But this fat man was wearing button plated armor over a thick jean jacket. Why?

I can understand doing something a little weird in order to garner attention or to set yourself apart from your fellow man, but that was just stupid. Fat button man can have a stroke today before he even reaches his building. Fat button man is going to turn into fat, sweaty, stinky button man in two minutes flat. Who wants to work near that?

I can't imagine anyone being so self-conscious that they would purposefully cover up on a day like today just so no one sees their fat rolls. Look around, there are lots of people showing their fat rolls today. If I wouldn't get fired I'd just go naked.

I just don't get it.

I am in a vicious, rotten mood.

I don't have to have a reason, I am a woman.

What I am about to rant about is by no means an open invitation to certain members of my family to call and have a looooooong discussion about this topic. I refuse.

It's a common misconception that men are always chasing their women around begging for sex and it is the frigid, chaste female who turns them down 99 times out of 100. All I have to say to this is - what a crock of shit! I have had numerous boyfriends and once they all learned that I liked sex, (liked having it, liked talking about it, and liked having it again), they tucked their little tails between their legs and scampered off.

I have dated men of different ages, different backgrounds, and different personalities but they all had one thing in common - they couldn't keep up!

All you men boast about wanting a female who wants sex all the time but once you actually find her you don't know what to do with her. You make up lame excuses and fake injuries to get away from having sex. You lie about headaches, back aches, being tired, having a lot on your mind, just plain not in the mood, or any number of things. In fact, you use every excuse you accuse women of using. Who's the bitch now?

The next time I hear any man complaining about his woman turning him down or not giving him enough I'm going to walk right up to him, get in his face, and call him a big fat liar. Which is ironic, no? I mean, you provide a pussy for a guy and he ends up turning into one.

And for you women out there who give us a bad reputation by being frigid and chaste, go join a convent.

Yaaaaaaarrrrrrrrg.